Monday, October 11, 2010

ENOUGH of this day... where is tomorrow?

I am having one of those days.

The kiln is frustrating me to no end. I have no idea what is wrong or how to fix it.
I have put new elements in, new bolts,screws,washers, wires and still the elements are not getting red hot.

I am stumped.

On top of that my controlling, demanding, expectation side has reared its ugly head.
Rohan is going through a serious stage of I want to do what I want and I do not care what you say.
He wants to do the bare minimum to get by and does not want to push himself.
And he is lying to me.

This pulls, pushes,  and stretches every button I have. 

What I know.
I should be calm, listen,  be understanding that he is shouting out for attention and acceptance.

What do I do?

Get angry, frustrated and feel the need to be apart from him.

At Drama club today, he did not want to do some of the exercises. As I spent a good hour and a half today working on Drama Club matters I felt personally accosted. Why do I take these things so personally? 

(I did begin my "cycle" today... and it is not pretty in my system ;o))

He then came home and began his homework. Great, right? Except he changed the timer, that tells him when he is done reading, while I was outside with Max doing homework. He lied about it... and lied
and lied until I told him I knew he changed it because I knew what time I put it on.

He thinks he should not have a consequence for lying.

Deep breath inserted and a REALLY?

This is a day when I am dreaming of the kids sleeping in their beds, a lovely drink in my hands,
quiet, and a new beginning tomorrow.

A new tomorrow. please.

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Your words inspire me to do and be more. So do your thoughts but I just can't read them yet! ;)