the beast within.. the artist beast.

The beast has been at my heals all day today. I could not stop thinking of new things to do.

The creative juice is in blossom . 
I am constantly inspired by women.
 Their ability to fill their days with meaningful, exciting, soul
expanding moments.
I dream of those moments. I look for them and reach for them but find I am all used
up when the time comes for me to be with me.


I do have some of some moments.. in the garden, cooking, imagining and researching art projects to do with the kids. 
This weekend I WILL clean out the studio and begin muddying up my hands again with goodness.
I will also be digging dirt and moving weeds.


And most of all, this weekend, I will send wings of thanks up for all the amazing people I have in my life and for all the little miracles that happen to keep them safe. ( Especially for one of my mothers (I have four), you know who you are, who was granted the gift of Hooray and Hallelujah.)


I took some photos today because I was inspired by the blossom. Thanks blossom .


photos from today and yester years..
 I continue to enjoy and excite at seeing where we came from and where we are going.




This morning

This afternoon with blossoms in mind

Yesterday

Last week: a blossom of sorts.

Years ago

Spring has sprung and I like how it feels and it thinks and has thoughts.

runaway circus and science club....

Filling days can be easy. Some days feel longer then others and most 

whiz by with no thought to the fact that we want to hold on a little longer.

The days when you just want: five more minutes Mom, do I have to do my homework now?

Please can I play legos a little longer before school?

If you tell me what to do I will do it mom!

 (ha, Mom's are good at that 

but do not always do with with

 a gentle voice and kind reminders,

 at least not this mama!)

This weeks highlights were:

Max's soccer practice/game

The Asheville Community Theater "yard sale"

Wyatt's third birthday party

The Falconhurst Community Garden day planting potatoes

Our first science club meeting at our house with some kids from Rohan's class

and

(drum roll)

THE RUNAWAY CIRCUS: 

a local group of talented entertainers. Super fun, quirky and laugh out loud funny!

We are hoping that we continue to capture more moments that make us say Wow and Oohh and Shazam

this week!

Each moment comes to us pregnant with possibility... 

I am looking forward and trying to remember that this too is a moment of possibility!

These are more photos from the past... they help me remember and celebrate what is 

possible!

                                      

                                       

                                       

                                       

I am one lucky lady!

Through the lens of an eight year old...

Yesterday while I was cutting/buzzing Jay's hair... Rohan was off documenting the world, as he thought about it and saw it.

dream the impossible dream... 

kids keep it real.

I like real.

Words from a lovable ol' bear...

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart... i'll always be with you." ~ Winnie the Pooh I definitely learned to believe and trust and love from all six of my parents... four mothers and two fathers. I am one lucky lady. Confidence, intrigue, a quest for learning and a love for life and compassion for their fellow humans... what I wish for my boys.

Yeah, it was a good day.

7:45 drive Rohan to school.

8:10 drink more coffee, get garden clothes on.

8:20 garden with bamboo, shovels, rakes, wire cutters and gloves

and Max.

11:00 break to go on a birthday shopping run with Judy.

1:00 back in garden, digging, sawing, Max, planting, digging,Max, sawing, planting.

(spinach, pole beans, and snow peas)

5:10 done in the garden for the day... dog tired

5:20 shower,dressed and ready for a night out with my buddy Judy and a drink shared before we see a friend of ours(hers really) perform at NC Stage.

Life is good. My butt is tired.

Tomorrow is no Saturday school and no alarm clocks.

:o)

time: as we know it and as it is.

Two family members just lost their jobs this week. Not only is that a frightening and stressful experience, it also changes time as we know it.

Our planned family reunion is now put on hold until another year. (8 children in our family + 20 grandchildren = a big reunion) Brothers and sister wondering what is next and searching ,in the mass of millions, for a job that will provide enough support for their families. 

All of this has put me into a frame of mind thinking about the right now and the just a little while ago.

Right now Max is:

collecting beer caps

a mail man

keeper of many keys with many purposes

(an obsession he has had since he could hold something)

collector of gems and containers to put them in

and a reader.

I wonder where time slipped through and when I forgot to remember the moments as they were slipping. I loved the then and I love the now.

Max, 5 minutes old.

Max, the philosopher

Rohan is: 

playing with lots of Dad's old toys with a renewed spirit

Reading his first Harry Potter and Beginning an advanced acting class: his first monolog

Playing lots of games with the family

Rohan with laughter and love and the kissiest cheeks there are:

                  Rohan the adorable entertainer

    Rohan the sweet big brother.

Time continues to elude me. The older we get the faster we hold on and wonder "what happened to this day?". Max said today," It will be a long time until I am a teenager". I said, "Yes, it will be a long time for you, but a very short time for me."

My brothers and sisters are in my thoughts today as time becomes a different concept with different feelings attached to it. Time and it's ever changing meanings.

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. 

- A. Lincoln

saving daylight.

I am planning on saving some daylight today. I think I will get a nice glass jar and decorate the lid with bows and flowers. 

After I capture this little bit of light, storage will be my next concern. Should I display it for everyone to see or should I find a secure, safe nook where only I can see this light.. my emergency light.

This should be an exciting day. That, and I am going to my friends, Sayo's, house to have sushi lessons. 

What a great day to go chasing extra light.

building lives... one moment at a time

Overachievers have a tendency to want to be in control, to see progress and know what the results will be. We want to know that what we are doing is not only good but GREAT, the Best. I can't imagine how that must be received by my gracious, forgiving children. Of course, I know I am not great or the best. Deep down I know I am further away from it then I care to admit. 

I am not pretending that I am not a good mother. I try hard. Real hard. But I breeze by a lot of Carpe Diem moments and know that I am missing the point of it all. To simply be and embrace(and enjoy, when that is called for). I wonder, when my sons are adults in therapy, what moments they will remember as wonderful and what made them feel insufficient, worthless, or unable. 

Watching the boys build, rebuild, imagine, wonder, cry, reveal in the magic, laugh until they fall apart, build again, hammer a finger, scream,give hugs and demand hugs, brings me back to now.

That old cliche, You only have NOW, really does mean something when I take time to be there, in Now.

Sometimes glimpses really are as beautiful as the dream. Sometimes a few seconds of pure now is all I need. I hope I can remember to grab those seconds every day and store them in that magic place in my brain that makes me want to sing about how amazing it is to be a mother... a purposeful mother, one that will help create excellent men.

We a really are building the moments of our lives. I am glad I have a camera for when I forget.

today's day

I am thinking about thoughts today. Today was one of those days where you get a whole lot done (running with a good friend, post office, car wash, groceries, cleaning and an after school walk/scooter with friends and dog!)   and it feels really good.... 
Until.....  homework time. Then the world whirls into another time zone and warps my perception of good. The struggle of "helping" a second grader with work they have to do but to them seems virtually impossible brings out a side of me that I hope is never seen on video. Poor Rohan. Poor Mom. That hour seemed like three.
I was glad when that hour of torture was over and we could just snuggle on the couch and watch each brother perform their own dance interpretation to a song of choice. Laughter really is the best medicine, which we did a lot of.


 Potty, teeth clean, wonderful story time and hugs. Goodnight. 


p.s. Thank you spring day for: open windows, energy, excitement, daffodils, and renewed spirits. I needed that.

I'm thinking about day light savings and no house rules.

Only ten more days until daylight savings and sixteen until the first day of spring! That means more hours outside, later walks, scooters, frisbee games. More time to use energy and soak in the sun. Yesterdays snow sure was a beauty.. the 2 inches predicted turned into over 6. Big flakes,wet with hope for what is stirring underground! Last sunday the boys and I went to our first Community Garden Day. It was so rejuvenating working with other "neighbors" toward a common goal, delicious, nutritious food.

I do have a garden here and it brings bounty. But I want to learn more

and be more accountable for my work time. Plus it is way more fun

playing in dirt with friends.

Yesterday I made an effort. An effort to bring excitement and wonder to a snow day. Here is what we did:

1. We painted coffee filters with food coloring... watching the colors mix and change... we also made some monoprints with them to create our own wrapping paper. They are hanging in the windows.
2. Next we documented a lego story that Rohan will later make into his own comic.
3. I made lemon bread for which we ate a lot of... 
4. Then Max, Rohan, Fooky (the dog), and I took a walk up to our favorite neighborhood garden/sculpture yard. It was falling snow on our heads and tongues, when we thought about it, as we ventured down the road.
5. Upon returning, Jay and I had arranged for a scavenger hunt through the house. The boys got straight to it weaving in and out and up and down until they reach the "treasure": a small bag of goodies hanging from a ceiling fan.
6. Games were played
7. a family show (the amazing race) and popcorn
8. blocks and legos
9. stories and bed

All in all it was a wonderfully purposeful day.

See for yourself.

(This is the yang to my yin)

This was an awesome snow day. Ten days until daylight savings and sixteen days until the first day of spring.

Dreaming.