Sunday, September 5, 2010

curry, blankets and the four seasons

Something happens every year, a metamorphosis of my mind and soul.
Am I part bear or turtle or a snake or a ground hog?

First I notice a slowing of my body. I feel like a slug in slow motion.
I notice my head feeling heavier with pressure
( i live with daily sinus pressure), 
my throat scratches (and hurts, sometimes)
 and I feel like I am on the verge of getting sick. 
This feeling can go on for months.

It is a main contributor to my seasonal, emotional, change to serious introvert.

It feels like I am preparing to hibernate.
What does it feel like to prepare to hibernate?

I know that during this seasonal transformation I want to cook.
Soup, bread, new recipes, old recipes, sharing food, eating more food,
warming the kitchen with deliciousness.
I struggle to cook all summer, to find inspiration and once the temperature drops,
 even 5 degrees

I wake up a cook again.
This week was India and Italy.
Curry lentil soup and Focaccia bread.

Another sign that I am am a hibernating animal 
(or possibly a human suffering from seasonal allergies):
I find it most difficult to be motivated to exercise.
A simple three mile summer run becomes a battle of body
and soul.

To add to that, I want to be alone more. I find it harder to make
elaborate plans with friends. I want to live moment to moment instead of 
planning too far ahead. 
Is this normal? 
It does not seem like it
 but it is normal to me-
 every year.
August the cycle begins again and again and again.

What do I like about this introverted state?
I enjoy the intro-spection.
An inspector of myself.
I am forced to get to know myself again and 
it often stirs a creative pool that has been laying stagnant 
all summer.

It is borderline depression but with an excited soul.
Windows welcome open.
Wind blowing my hair, my soul. 

Blankets bring comfort and joy and snuggle.
Bodies snuggling happily after the stick and sweat of 
previous months.

So here I am again faced with myself
and all these thoughts.
As I sort and organize and clean 
 I will remember that this is just part of my fall.
A shedding of old creating a space for new growth.

Maybe I am just a tree and not an animal at all. 

(a few photos of what the boys have been up to)

science buddies

Max worries about animals and people.
He saves money for 
a local organization that helps
people find homes:

Homeward Bound.

So for others who embody four seasons.
I understand.
I love them all, just in different ways.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Your words inspire me to do and be more. So do your thoughts but I just can't read them yet! ;)