Sometimes bribing works

Rohan has been struggling with wanting to go to his acting class.

It is 10 -12:30 on Saturdays.

He is, by far, the youngest there. The other students sport cell phones and a different language that Rohan is not privy to yet.

"I don't fit in Mom".

So I have been questioning if I made the right decision encouraging and insisting he partake in this class. The opportunity is unbelievable but that does not make it Right.

Rohan had a homework assignment three weeks ago to take a private, memorable moment and make it into something he could share on stage. This in itself was challenging...as 8 years of life experience does not always allow for powerful, private moments.

Sadly we have had some though. With Dad's help, asking pertinent questions, Rohan wrote a "scene" about the day we wrote and burned prayers for his Gigi (great-grandmother).

Here is the script:

(his idea: he begins laying down, like we are on a bed talking... he turns to talk to me)

~Mom I had an idea

~I really miss Gigi and I really want to talk to her

~Max said maybe we could write down the stuff we wanted to tell her. And

then, we could burn the notes with a candle and the smoke would take our thoughts

to Gigi in heaven. (pause)

~Like heaven mail.

~We found this candle at Gigi's house. Can you light it and I'll go get some paper?

(Rohan walks across stage to get the paper and pretending to write he reads each aloud:)

1. Things are gonna change, now that you're gone.

2. But you'll be with us, in our hearts.

3. I know we're not going to your house anymore for Halloween.... or Christmas

4. I hope you have really good food now and that you get to see all the friends you missed.

5. I hope you aren't in anymore pain, because you were before.

6. I miss you very much....I love you.

(he pretends to light the paper and watches the smoke go to up to heaven)

He worked hard on this at home. He did an amazing job. 

He DID NOT want to perform it though, in front of his class.

 He was intimidated and nervous and was not going to do it unless Michael, his teacher, asked him too.

Here is where the bride came in.... Rohan LOVES Halloween....a whole, spooky lot!

I found the coolest Halloween nutcrackers at Target last week. I am a sucker for things I KNOW my kids will love.

I told him that if he volunteered on Saturday I would give him a super cool Halloween gift.. otherwise he would get it later at Christmas.

Well, it worked. He volunteered. 

When he was finished his scene

an older girl asked him, "How old are you?" 

"8"

 ( the class is for 11-18 year olds)

She put her hands over her mouth in disbelief.

Rohan's teacher, Michael, said "Now you know why Rohan is here."

He also asked Rohan to make this little scene into a five minute one man show for the

 class finale. 

I could not have been prouder of Rohan. I cannot imagine how awkward it must be to have no other "kids" your age to hang out with for 2 1/2 hours and to have emotionally challenging assignments that would challenge any age.

He was brave. 

He was proud of himself 

and his anxiety about the class melted away.

He said, "Now they know me a little better."

It might have been the Bribe, or his decision that "today I am going to do it"...

but whatever it was.. Rohan proved to himself that hard things can bring joy and 

can make you feel really strong.

He will perform this piece on December 10th at NC Stage with the other 10 students selected for this acting intensive.

~I have to give a BIG kudos to Max also who is reading Cat in the Hat now. This is a harder Suess, if you don't remember. Max likes to push himself. He is a go getter and a determined little soul. He is my snuggle bug. 

(I love this photo... he is, unfortunately, cute when he is angry)

This fall air has energized us and has also made us want to snuggle more. 

What a lovely combination!

getting wired...

I think I might fix old electric kilns, part-time, of course.

After changing both the bottom and middle elements and beginning the top... I noticed that the switch wires that connect to the terminal board are all frayed and need to be replaced.

Once again I am on the phone ordering new parts and wondering if I will ever get this old beat up thing working properly.

I really do not want to fix kilns... but I feel like when I am done making this kiln run that I will be able to at least offer some sound advice.

So hopefully Friday I will have the new parts and will be able to put the electrical puzzle pieces together.

Otherwise I am going to have a studio full of unfired work and no room to make more.

That will just not do.

Onto other things.

I had a strange bout of vertigo on Monday. I woke up, dizzy and nauseous and proceeded to throw up from it all. My wonderful kids took care of their breakfast and morning school duties while relishing in the fact that they would be going late to school. I certainly could not drive them.

Daddy had to come home from work and bring them in late.

I lay in bed most of the day. It took two or three hours for the nausea to go away but eventually I began to feel a bit better.

That afternoon was our first After school Drama Club for the Kindergarteners and 1st graders. I went fabulously. The next class is for the 2nd -5th... alternating Monday afternoons. Fun fun even with my dizziness tagging along.

(It has not gone away altogether just more manageable... I think it was from swimming too many laps on Friday and then swimming again on Sunday some water/ear thing.

 This week I have found that there are weird and wonderful connections everywhere.... you just have to be open to them. I love to feel connected.

Now if I could just get my kiln connected it would be awesome!

throwing slabs

This morning I finished glazing some pots that had been 

sitting around for..... ahem... a while for sure.

When I was done I decided to reprocess some clay and  

break down some harder, sitting around clay, 

to be reprocessed soon.

I found a semi wet bag of clay and decided to make some slabs of clay. 

I was thinking about a class I took at Penland, summer of 1992,

with Charles Malin. 

An earthenware handbuilding tea pot class.

I am traditionally a thrower so this was a shift for me and

to top it off one of my favorite potters was teaching upstairs, Ron Meyers.

So here I was with slabs of clay, a lot of slips and even more beer.

I have to say I loved the class and made some funky and cool tea pots. Not even sure where they are right now but...

So I decided to throw some slabs this morning. I love old traditional methods of working with clay that do not involve too many machines and preciseness. I love things that are not too uniform.

(you should see how I dress)

To throw a slab of clay...

1. pound the clay down with fists until uniform thickness

2. find a clean, relatively flat surface

3. Pick up the clay and as you are throwing it down, you pull one part toward you or away from you to stretch the clay.

4. grab it from the other side and continue, changing directions and flipping the clay over until it is the thickness you desire.

It feel great when doing this... not sure how to describe it really.

The slabs are drying right now, waiting to become something.

I can't wait either, to see what they become.

Thanks rainy day Sunday for this calm.

We went swimming with friends this afternoon and on the way home, Rohan said, "This is a great day for the spirits, playing in the rain".

That kid sure is testing me with his confrontational approach to communicate right now.... BUT he always amazes me with his insights and depth.

Here's for the spirits playing in the rain. I just might join them.

bits and pieces of time

It took me a while to come back. 

While I was away I have been running... longer distances, starting to swim laps again,

volunteering at school (Mondays), getting all the drama club ducks in a row,

working with my little 4 month old buddy, potting/painting/mixing/cleaning studio,

and all the other things that go along with living and making it flow, relatively, smoothly.

I am one fortunate and lucky woman/wife/mama!

Just wanted you to know that I appreciate it all.

A( gigantic) lot.

I found this table on the side of the road. It had several years of laminate tableclothes on it.

It also had potential. I wanted it and I wanted to make a festive porch table..... for meals,

games, quiet moments.

The boys and I primed it and I painted it. 

(The design in the middle was made with a bubble blowing stick. ;o))

(After connecting with a friend from over 20 years ago, I painted this table 

with her creative soul as my guide!)

I woke up to this scene this morning. I love how the figures tell a story, even if I read a different story then was intended by the story maker.

I love child spirit in action.

A good friend of mine inspires me with her positive parenting.

I tend to always have negative consequences and forget about building up the self-esteem 

with incentive and reward.

We have adopted her strategy of earning tickets for things that are challenging us...

like putting out dirty clothes in the hamper, cleaning out our lunch boxes,

putting all of our toys away before bed (with out reminders).

They receive the tickets to earn special things... 

play-dates (6), dinner out(10), a special dessert (4), dinner requests (3),

even a day off from school (30 tickets saved)

It is all new but they are motivated and have special places they keep their star wars tickets.

I love being inspired by others.

Rohan's clay heads 

Rohan's canoe and paddler

We had friends over for a play-date and made it a claydate (corny I know but....)

Some tall bowls that look like a chalice from hell.

(A whole bottle of wine could fit in the bowl)

I wanted to cut openings in the foot of the bowl but they dried out too soon. 

I will make more later.

I make mugs. A lot of mugs.

altered mugs.

So... my kiln has been taken apart, cleaned, inspected and tested only to find out the top

elements, I thought were working properly, need to be replaced. I ordered the parts

now I just have to wait, fix it and hope I do not have to call our local kiln repair person.

I have been in the studio this week and it feels great. I can't wait to have finished work to critique

and possibly sell!

(p.s. I have a new clay friend, her daughter is in Max's class and we have many connections. She is putting the fire under me... and that will put fire under my pots ;o)

These are my play mates during the week while my human companions are at work and school.

They make me feel all warm and fuzzy, very fuzzy and sometimes hairy.

pickles (the only other female companion around)

pepper (snuggle kitty)

Fooky our protector and friend

Pepper and Rabbit (my three legged small animal killer)

my neighbors and alternate universes

I have neighbors like most other people.

We are friends, wave, say hi 

and enjoy having each other as

neighbors.

My neighbors remind me everyday the fragility of 

the mind.

We live next to two group homes

(and a lovely, older, alcoholic who likes

to listen to rock n roll, often loud)

"M" is a good friend who is bipolar and likes to write stories.

"D" is "M's" best buddy, they loves to crack each other up and you can hear their contagious laughter from blocks away.

 "D" has severe diabete's and not sure what else.

 He plays swords with the boys

and lets them jump all over him.

"M" has long conversations with the boys.

"Can we come up "M"" the boys yell up our small hill separating the houses.

"M" has been a good friend, feeding our cats when we are away, asking if I need help if he sees the need and just generally having thoughtful conversations.

There is also "C" who used to own a  successful bar and was found walking down the middle of the highway one night. She walks a lot and finds treasures on the side of the road. I helped her move into her own place last year. She did not make it there.

She returned about five months ago. She forgot to eat.

"P" is a recovering drup addict and wheelchair bound. He was doing well making lots of money in the tech field only to discover cocaine.

He is an intelligent, born again, guy who seems lonely and knocks on his housemates doors all night looking for companionship.

"J" talks with a slur. I understand some of what she says.

She told me she once owned a cabin in Wolf Laurel.

She loved living alone with her dogs. I gave her a hair cut last week. (I was not too confident in this but she really wanted it cut and no one else would help her)

She has a big space in the front of her mouth where her teeth used to be. It makes her smile better.

She always waves to me and asks how I am doing.

Another "J" can often be found at the top of the parking lot talking about something to himself, seeming amused and happy about  his conversations.

"How's it going Broomhilda?" He yells to me all the time. He makes me laugh.

There is a quiet "M" who I see walking a lot. Always in a down vest, winter or summer. Once or twice a year he forgets to take his meds and can be heard reciting proclamations about Jesus and the bible for hours at a time. I feel like I am at a revival ;o).

Rocking chairs aline the porches of each house. Cigarettes are plentiful and glowing at most hours of the days and evening until "lights out" at 10.

One gentleman, can't remember his name, sits in a rocking chair all day looking at himself in a mirror. He is grumpy and other residents stay away from him. Wonder why he is so grumpy? 

He came to my house last week with his social worker 

(she was quiet and a bit embarrassed) 

and asked how many cats I had and why he had to feed them.

I asked him please not to feed my cats because they are on special diets and that if he did not want cats coming to his window, he might not want to feed them.

(Was that too mean? I did take him to the bank once.)

I love my neighbors. They are the watch dogs of our little dead end street. They send me waves and smiles everyday and remind

always, that life is fragile and you never know when your mind

can deceive you and you are living in an alternate universe.

(By the way I have not fixed my kiln YET but have plans to do it this weekend!)

(I did work in my studio this week though!)

You don't know til' you try (firing an old kiln for the first time that is)

I can't say it was my most successful day.

I certainly began with the energy of an 18 year old and 

ended the day feeling much my age and a little older (almost 42).

The kiln progressed well until it did not.

It seemed to stall and would not move forward.

Granted I did take things very slowly... by 18 hours of firing I was spent.

I felt stressed most of the day any way and I was just not sure what to do.

I began firing gas kilns when I was 18 at UNC-G and moved to electric for 

a while during my stint of working with Ron Propst in Winston-Salem.

That was 20 years ago.

In between I have been a wood/gas/salt girl.

I know how to manipulate a gas kiln to get it to change.

I felt helpless with this electric kiln.

I had to take the leap, firing this old, but new to me kiln, and I am glad. Now I need to troubleshoot.

I have done a little online research. One thing I did notice last night

was that there is a significant gap between the floor and the first kiln section.

Maybe this was pulling too much hot air down and out?

Cone 5 went down on the bottom but nothing moved on the top.

I feel tired and discouraged today but not defeated. I am determined to conquer this thing and begin making pots again.

I have been considering a switch to earthenware... maybe this was my call from the kiln.

Here are a few images of my yesterday.

It was quite fun despite the frustrating ending.

I forgot to make a kiln god, a symbol of good luck and to watch over the firing,

so I found this on Rohan's clay work table and wah lah kiln god. 

Not sure what to name him, any ideas?

my only window in the basement but lovely.

mugs to be and serving bowls

Now I just need to find that excited energy, unload an under-fired kiln and fix it

to start all over again. Oh yeah, I can do this.... I think I can I think I can.

well, well, well

I surprise myself:

good and bad.

But this week has been all good.

(Don't jinx it right)

Isaac Dickson Elementary finally has an after school Drama Club.

Jessica, the one with a drama background, and I, 

will begin the first annual Drama club on September 27.

We had so many people express interest that we were forced to divide the classes in to two parts. A K-1 program and a 2-5 program.

This fall we will concentrate on classes and then in the spring will put on a production.

I am excited and nervous. 

(I am really not experienced with teaching drama, 

only with refereeing my little actor at home.)

So.... just when I write that something is hard or challenging for me.

I some how feel inspired or pissed off enough by my walls,that I  want to tear them down.

I ran 4 1/2 miles yesterday. 

I made myself do it with mantra's like

"do not stop, think of all the people on biggest loser who run marathons" and "I think I can, I think I can" 

Next time I will be sure to have the theme music from Rocky and Chariot's of Fire to inspire me.

This morning I faced it down.

 That door to the basement, my studio with in it, 
has been plaguing me all summer.

How dare you keep me down!

Well I filled up my coffee mug, charge my ipod shuffle and made a mission for the day.

Glaze and load my kiln.

I did it and happily.

I have not fired it yet because I haven't ever fired it and want to have a full day (6 a.m. on) to be attentive to it and make sure everything is going to run smoothly.

High temperatures and a wood house tend to give me panic attack feelings.

So, in the next three days I will have fired pots out to gawk at.

They might not be to my liking. They might craze and crawl and crack... but I did something I have been putting off all summer.

And it feels good.

I feel like cheers-ing so who ever has a drink(any kind)out there while you are reading this.... cheers.

Here's to surprising ourselves daily.

I have always love the phrase: 

(I fell in love with in 

Dead Poet's Society)

Carpe Diem 

Seize the Day