Overachievers have a tendency to want to be in control, to see progress and know what the results will be. We want to know that what we are doing is not only good but GREAT, the Best. I can't imagine how that must be received by my gracious, forgiving children. Of course, I know I am not great or the best. Deep down I know I am further away from it then I care to admit.
I am not pretending that I am not a good mother. I try hard. Real hard. But I breeze by a lot of Carpe Diem moments and know that I am missing the point of it all. To simply be and embrace(and enjoy, when that is called for). I wonder, when my sons are adults in therapy, what moments they will remember as wonderful and what made them feel insufficient, worthless, or unable.
Watching the boys build, rebuild, imagine, wonder, cry, reveal in the magic, laugh until they fall apart, build again, hammer a finger, scream,give hugs and demand hugs, brings me back to now.
That old cliche, You only have NOW, really does mean something when I take time to be there, in Now.
Sometimes glimpses really are as beautiful as the dream. Sometimes a few seconds of pure now is all I need. I hope I can remember to grab those seconds every day and store them in that magic place in my brain that makes me want to sing about how amazing it is to be a mother... a purposeful mother, one that will help create excellent men.
We a really are building the moments of our lives. I am glad I have a camera for when I forget.