there are moments.
moments that creep up on you, engulf you, almost suffocate you.
unexplainable. pulsatingly real moments of clarity.
at least it feels like clarity, or a message from the future.
I am having one of those clear, aching, verge of and spilling over tears moments.
My moment involves my boys... and letting go.
I think we have these moments because the thought of them not being in our lives, in our houses, everyday seems, well, quite unbearable.
I am having a preparing moment. Remembering to take time for the hugs and kisses that are always wanting to come my way (when many times I push them away with this and that I am doing of no particular importance)
Those kisses and hugs will be fewer and less and less and fewer and farther away, and I will long for these days of "I want you", "I need you".
So, we have these moments of unbearable sadness to prepare us for the inevitable.
If you love someone,
set them free.
Damn, I love my boys.
And I will, eventually, set them free.
But luckily, they are 6 and 9 and they actually still want to hang out with me,