Wild

It has been a wild summer.

Lots of good.

Camping,

 Pottery (sales), 

rivers,

pools,

New York City,

Friends,

working,

more friends,

more rivers, and pools and thunderstorms.

The boys have been like thunderstorms.

Beautiful but hard.

Unpredictable.

Ferocious.

Loving.

Calming.

Explosive.

Battling Brothers.

I have been looking inward a lot.

Reassessing.

Questioning.

Reading.

 (lots of parenting books)

And gathering ever bit of patience

from every corner of the globe.

I have not been taking care of me.

That is the key.

Now to do something about it.

Right now.

4 days and 3 hours

Summer is here.

Did you get the memo?

4 days and 3 hours more.

Of school.

Of my days potting, 

well, partially anyway.

I am taking deep breaths and 

creating

joy.

Seeing the joy that will be.

Imagining scenarios where I can 

do pottery

go swimming

hiking

adventuring

brother refereeing 

celebrating our time,

our time together

while they are still

celebrating time with me.

and still doing pottery, for me,

while they are home.

My mission.

I will achieve it.

I am certain.

It may not look pretty in the beginning

but it will end up beautiful.

Here we go.

Seven, Ten, and two Forty-three year olds.

We will make magic this summer.

With the help of our community,

of hard work,

and hard play.

Deep Breath.

and Summer.

Wow... I have been gone a long time.

It is darn warm out there if you didn't notice.

I am making it warmer by firing a bisque.

It should be up to temperature in another 30 minutes or so.

So, while I was gone....

I fractured my right hand (by hitting a chair when I got too angry),

and no I would never have hit my child, I was just at my limit and had to hit something. 

In my defense, I did choose a cushy armchair, it was just not cushy enough.

So while I was moaning about not being able to run in my one and only marathon,

I decided to do something anyway.

I decided to make hand-built functional pottery.

I haven't stopped since and it has been almost 8 weeks.

It seems that wonderful things really can come out of rotten situations.

It is hard to see it when you are in it. For sure.

I am cast free, throwing and hand building and trying, for the first time in my 25 years of living with clay, to make a go at it.

I mean to make a it a way to supplement my families income.

I am not delusional. I understand how hard this is and how many hours it takes and most of all that I might actually have to learn the business part of all this mess.

But I am excited. Like want to be in the studio all the time excited.

I am firing almost once a week and am working on a "line" that I feel proud of 

and that I hope will enrich people's eating experiences.

I have continued being a mom, which tends to happen when you have two kids who are 7 and 10, and have struggled with rebellious, confused, angry children. 

Not every minute, of course, but enough for me to anticipate it happening every day.

I am officially reading Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.

The premise is to hold them accountable for their actions with consequences while maintaining empathy about the situation they are in. 

The empathy part is quite challenging. :(

This could all be applied to other people I know and love and live with too ;).

Well, life is about learning and it is about being the best person we can be for those we love.

So here I go, trying again, like I will, over and over.

I have been cherishing my friends as of late. Well, I always do, but sometimes you

just realize

they are incredible and they make

the days

so much more

incredible

and 

meaningful.

So thank you 

friends.

So I am potting, parenting and partying 

(not really partying just sounded good)

Oh and I have a new pottery blog... like really new, as in only one post new

freemanclayworks.blogspot.com/

Come visit and see my new pots and leave comments on how they can make you happier.

Happy almost summer. Only 23 more days of school. Yikes.

it's all in a name, or is it....

Several months ago 

I was thinking about names.

Names for my potter studio.

At one time I had, I thought, 

cleverly named myself 

Functional Earth

That name does not suit me now.

I thought maybe I wanted a funny name.

I am finding that I am way less serious

about life in general then I used to be.

Several friends offered great ideas,

suggested I ask my kids for help,

and after plotting and thinking 

and scheming 

and wondering,

I think I will just be

me.

Andrea Freeman.

Now should I be: 

Andrea Freeman Pottery

Andrea Gardiner Freeman Pottery

Andrea Freeman Studio

Andrea Freeman Works

Not sure.

I want to figure it out soon. 

Like Yesterday.

For my blogger friends,

I had my first batch of earthenware pots come out of the kiln.

They were very exciting to me and have put some

embers burning in my soul!

I will post some photos later!

So here I go. 

Next a tax number,

a light box,

and batches and batches of slip tests.

Including some terra sig, I hope!!!

Whoo HOOOOOOOOOO~

innocence, power and perspective

I would much rather be me now, 

43, 

married with two children, 

then that 20 something year old who felt the world so hard and so deep.

I rarely miss being young and unencumbered. 

But I do miss the wild passion and the endless thoughts that swarmed my 

head.

I wrote two short quotes, way back then, that have stuck with me,

have stayed with me and are still me.

~ Be open to unthinkable wonders

~ The Spirit runs silently on

Although these have meant different things to me over the last 20 something years

they have continue to inspire me and make know that I am okay,

that I have a lot that is worthy inside of me and that celebrating that

is what makes me a better Human, better Mom, Friend, Wife, Alien (in case I ever get to travel out there in that magic).....

Somedays we just need to celebrate parts of ourselves, 

mostly because we don't want to 

but

really, truly 

need to.

hearts and me

Today is heart day. 

The kids made awesome valentines for their friends,

I bought the token small(est) Whitman's heart shaped boxes for my boys.

a  "special" beer, mint cookies and sourdough bread for my man

and in turn he gave me my best give ever... 

he bought art supplies in my name for kids who need them through

Oxfam.

I loved this gift so much. He thought about this and really showed me

how well he knows me.

In turn I realized this would be the best gift for my (other) MOM on her

most special birthday.... 75 years. 

 We love art. 

She taught me to love art 

and I could not think of a better gift to share with her.

Also for heart day Max's class were privileged to have an awesome

SURPRISE

Party.

While they were gone delivering Valentines to their newly adopted older adult friends...

some parents decorated the room and brought lots of special things in...

SURPRISE!

They really were surprised.

Rohan was so excited to have a party too... he said,

"Hey, would you rather get candy or no homework?"

His friend said no homework.

He said, "We got both!"

Oh Joy.

So that sums up our heart day. It was lovely.

(poor jay is working tonight so we will go out tomorrow night

to the new neighborhood restaurant: 

Walk.

We will walk there, of course.

Onto me... wallow, wallow~ 

I will start with the good and end with the good.

I ran today. It was beautiful. It sleeted for a while.

It was with a friend. 

Friends make running better. 

In between I will discuss my bleeping part of my day

and well, frankly, my life.

Those who know me well know I suffer from minor headaches.

So I spare you from reading this....

In my early twenties I began getting headaches regularly..

I call them sinus headaches.

They tend to be a dull but aching pressure on my forehead

and by my nose and sometimes behind my eyes and back of my head.

Okay so why am I talking about this now?

I have had these every day for at least 14 years.

I know.... why in the bleep have I not done anything before now?

Not sure.

I really do have them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 

Some days and weeks are harder then others.

But they do not go away. 

So, Just so you know, I am finally doing something about IT!

I officially do not have allergies,

I do not have a deviated septum or any other ENT issue,

so now I am on to the neurologist.

They certainly are not migraines, I function daily with these...

I am just finally tired of it and think that I just might end up a

better, funnier, and more exciting

 Mom, friend and wife 

if my head cleared up even for a few days a week.

(wink and smile)

This day, heart day, my headache left me feeling lonely for no reason.

It does this at times.

I guess lonely can come in many forms.

Headaches can deter me from doing things I  really want to do:

like studio, garden, play with kids, well, anything.

BUT....

Some times a phone call from a friend who is willing to listen to you grip and

moan and bitch...

makes you feel better 

makes feel like you are not crazy

and that 

this is an amazing and beautiful thing we are doing....

living.

I am looking forward to finding out what is causing my daily headaches but until then

I will try to keep my bitching down to a minimum. 

Happy Heart Day to you ALL 

And to ALL

a Good Night!

Like my brother-in-law David, I blame it on the moon

Sometimes we need no prompting to dwell on a subject.

Other times one word, a glance or a breeze can

bring on the flood.

I am consumed with parenting at this. moment.... or rather

what I am as a parent. 

What I am modeling, teaching and demanding as a parent.

Looking up some inspired quotes today, these spoke to me deepest, funniest, or

truest:

The trouble with learning to parent on the job is that your child is the teacher.  

~Robert Brault

If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.  

~Bette Davis

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.  ~Robert Fulghum 

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.  ~Lane Olinghouse

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. 

 One is roots. 

 The other is wings. 

 ~Hodding Carter, Jr.

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.  ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations.  Let your kids be who they are, and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit.  

~Robert Brault

As I go about this day tasking  it away ,

It occurs to me that this life I have chosen,

 (some of us do choose our lives, some do not)

so complicated

and wordlessly beautiful,

has beings, two of them, growing up before my very eyes,

and counting on me to be what they need, 

which changes

virtually everyday.

Right Now I am working on being a role model,

 one that they can respect, admire 

and sometimes get pissed off at.

And I am going to the studio this afternoon

whether they like it or not.

I want to be improbable

Lots to celebrate.

Running.

Messy hands.

Good friends.

A wonderfully loving in supportive family.

Having what we need.

I want to be light 

and Frolicsome.

I want to be improbable.....

Oh this needs to be painted on the wall of my studio

REAL BIG.

(p.s. This wonderful photograph/wood print is taken from Pinerest!)

10 year~ Holy Camoly

ROHAN LLEWYS QUINN MYERS

JANUARY 27TH 2002

A glimpse of the boy wonder:

Rohan turned 10 today at 12:06 am. 

He woke at 3 am, 5 am and waited until 6:10 for us ALL to get up.

This vibrant, creative, eccentric, loving, thoughtful boy is now 

double digits. 

To see more of the Rohan Journey go to

https://picasaweb.google.com/102230359588005491523/HomageToTheLifeOfRohan

He sure does keep us on our toes and makes us prouder then he will ever know.