a journey of thinks and thoughts : mostly on my little people

10 year~ Holy Camoly

2012-01-27T09:08:00.000-08:00

ROHAN LLEWYS QUINN MYERS

JANUARY 27TH 2002

A glimpse of the boy wonder:

Rohan turned 10 today at 12:06 am.

He woke at 3 am, 5 am and waited until 6:10 for us ALL to get up.

This vibrant, creative, eccentric, loving, thoughtful boy is now

double digits.

To see more of the Rohan Journey go to

https://picasaweb.google.com/102230359588005491523/HomageToTheLifeOfRohan

He sure does keep us on our toes and makes us prouder then he will ever know.

Keeping the Magic Alive

2011-12-24T04:53:00.000-08:00

For my blogger friends and family.

We wish you the merriest Christmas, holiday, celebrations.

Hoping your homes are filled with laughter, hugs, silliness, dances,

smells of cookies and pine needles and magic.

Every year the boys dress up and I take photos of their silliness.

I always love it.

Always.

What will you be concentrating on in the new year?

I have my resolutions set.

Glaze and slip exploration.

My friend Mary has become my kiln expert fixer and my confidence in working and experimenting has gone up! I am moving toward low fired work while keeping a little space open to work in cone ^6.

Feeling excited and giddy about all of this... oh and she is also putting plugs in for me and a sink for water! Really. (She's my friend, you can't have her) ;o) hee hee.

ornaments made from the thousands of clementines we are eating.

lid for a box I made for somebody for Christmas ;o)

earthenware experimenting begins ;o) (a max design with Mommy additions)

Wishing you all joy and peace and love and magic and delicious things to eat and drink and taking time.

Time to let it all soak in, just how fortunate we all are and how fleeting life can be.

Carpe Diem , carpe diem.

L.O.V.E.

noggy and unnoggy

2011-11-26T11:02:00.001-08:00

Rohan is on a creative drawing kick.

We are (rohan and I)

struggling with so many issues right now

around attitude and

taking responsibility for our actions...

when Rohan is

creative he inspires me

and helps me celebrate him.

He needs to be celebrated.

This is his newest creation about Egg Nog.

"let your egg boggy dreams come true"

a very small book rohan made for me ;o)

these guys have had WAY too much egg nog!

Egg nog clouds... its a "cristmas mirical"

"Buda" contemplating milk egg nog or soy nog

Buda deciding which egg nog to take to Zeus Party~ Hermes is delivering the "evetation"

I hope I never go to jail for wanting too much egg nog.

rohan's first egg nog drawing

my absolute favorite of all the drawings... it might just become our Christmas card.

I have been in an out of the blogging world.

Still reading others but not taking time or creative energy to share.

Kiln just went kaputz again.... mid firing (poo and tears)

Working with a friend to make money so I can keep the kids magic alive on Christmas.

Planning to check off a big one in May. Running a marathon. Have wanted to since I was 17.
Just one. Nothing heroic but a goal that seems achievable.

Hope everyone is enjoying a glass of egg nog. I prefer rum in mine but am not too picky.

Love.

It's always the little things, a moment. Always.

2011-10-26T14:19:00.000-07:00

I had a moment this week.

One of those slap you in the face,

make you feel sad, happy, distressed, awe inspired,

appreciative, relieved, full of it: that life thing, moments.

A small person brought me to this moment.

Not one of mine, although they do a lot.

This was a small person whom I recently met, on a walk downtown.

Our moment:

We were walking, beautiful day, a group, single file.

We walked a long way and saw many different buildings, people, smelled wonderful things and well, not so wonderful things.

We waved to people, talked about things we like to do and be and think.

A friendly man waited for us to pass as the large group swarmed the sidewalk. This man had a beautiful smile, a bag and a drink. My little friend said, "Hey" and waved excitedly. The Man smiled and waved back. My little friend looked at me with bright eyes and said, "That man lives in the same house as me!"

We walk a few block further. There are several people sitting on the sidewalk with their bags, talking, smoking and waiting. They were waiting for the Salvation Army to open.

As we walk passed my little friend says, with the most joyful voice, "My family eats there all the time!"

My heart dropped. I am a mom. I was only imagining what this meant to his mom, to his family. But in the same split second I felt my heart warm and melt at the innocence and pure happiness that radiated from my little friends voice.

He was content with this life, his reality.

He has joy and felt joy about it.

It was me having the "feelings".

As we continued walking I asked him what his favorite meals were there. He rattled of a huge list. The other kids oohed and ahed at the list. They too wanted to try this restaurant.

A single moment can change everything.

The way you look at everything and everyone.

It is the little things in life.

These are the most meaningful and the most remembered.

I may not remember my little friends name in 20 years but I will always remember this moment.

I will always remember that reality is what you make of it, of what YOU choose to feel about it.

Little friends are the most powerful teachers.

A new kind of fall, at least for me.

2011-09-23T14:09:00.000-07:00

This behavior is perplexing.

This is not how I look in fall.

I turn inward, spend more time at home,

less time running, or swimming or exercising at all, except maybe walking,

which I usually do a lot of in the fall.

This fall I have an obligation. A contract. A commitment.

I have been training for a run.

A 10 mile run.

It is October 9th in Washington D.C.

My friend Barbara (Barbie) Burger, my close friend from Nepal. ( I was twelve when we were buddies.

We have stayed in touch since then. She is in the Army.... a big wig). She talked me into signing up for the race as a team! We are Helter Skelter! Another friend from Nepal will be running it with us. I have not seen her since we were in 6th grade together at Lincoln School in Kathmandu.

I am so excited, and a little nervous.

I am excited about this mini reunion of friends.

I am also excited about this fall transformation.

Fall is usually a time I move into a mini seasonal depression. Not a deep sadness but a time

of introverted heaven. Spending time with me. Too much time ;o). A home body to the fullest.

This year I have broken that mold and it feels awesome.

I have many friends I can say thanks to, but mostly, something that is really hard for me to do,

I want to say:

I am proud of myself!!!!,

for moving outside of my comfort zone and pushing myself to

"do more and be more" ~ dead poet society quote

So here is to surprising yourself. To seeing a change that was unexpected yet purposeful at the same time.

Here is believing and surrounding yourself with those who also believe.

I have new running shoes. So Watch Out World.

thirty moments and long time no see

2011-09-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we just need to regroup.

We need a moment.

or thirty.

or in my case, at least today, I could have used

102 or so.

The do not disturb sign has been taken down for the day,

the boys are playing together and no one is getting hurt.

A new goal of ours.

No one should get hurt.

I am not a boy.

I do not understand.

But I do know... hurt does not feel good.

Sometimes I just want them to go outside to hurt each other though.

So I don't have to hear it.

my prepreteen.

Sometimes he says things that make my head spin and my heart swoon.

I wish he was not right sometimes.

Our play is action-pact .... full of movement and "accidents"

So this has been an amazing Month!

My little sister April, part friend, part sister, part soul-mate, got married

to her long time companion Chris.

It was beautiful, gorgeous, simple, pure and full of love.

I felt blessed to be a part of it all,

To be a witness,

To remember why it is we do this thing, marriage.

I love her so much and wish her years of

burrito trucks and tree swings.

april and my mom, fran

the joy of life

September was also the month Logan Anthony Myers was born!

We have had so much fun getting to know this cute little man.

He was born right before my other sister (in-law)

Karen was married to her long time

companion, Peter.

(I don't have any pics :( ) sorry. It was also beautiful, full of spirit, promise,

family and friends.

What a special month.

I am Still recovering from all the goodness.

Max and Logan

I miss blogging but have not felt the inspiration.

I hope this weather will change that for me.

I have been running (training for the Army 10 miler), painting walls, trim and ceilings (work),

hanging out with Axel, my little buddy, making some pots and traveling a lot to witness all these promises of love.

Blankets are back.

Morning sweaters are snuggling

and soups are being made.

Hello fall, my introspective friend.

things happen for a reason, right? and makin' it.

2011-08-09T15:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I never grew up. I make seriously ridiculous mistakes or over-sites and not sure exactly why. Well, I did that recently and it made me sad but also inspired to make. things.

The ECU art department is having an Alumni show. I was really excited about having a goal to work toward.... something I often need. Well, I have been making this summer... not as much as I would have liked but more then I have in a long time. I was working on two tall pedestal stools for the show (2 to 2 1/2 feet tall). Well, they blew up.... I guess I raised the kiln's temperature too fast... big, explosive, lesson learned.

So I busted a move to work on some other things I have been enjoying... the Max dinnerware sets and a series of hand built pieces inspired by architecture and sacred spaces.

I signed up for the show... waited for the second reply and it never came... oh, well, I thought, I told them I was going to do the show so they must have my info... well, no. June 8th a email went out that I failed to read or something.... the week the kids got out of school and my busiest week working of the summer. (all excuses here to make myself feel better ;o)).

I did not make it into the show because I failed to respond to the email. I found out this week after I became more curious why I did not have more details..... I was very sad, mad and almost in tears. But..... it was all me and it is about life lessons and moving forward with grace.

I fired some work yesterday... I love some of the ideas, a lot. Here are a few.

each architectural sculpture has an eye hole at the top for looking down into the piece

The Max series makes me smile.

There will always be other opportunities to share my work....

life is beautiful that way.

for my sister Annie, Ann Mary, Ann: i love her so

2011-07-29T15:30:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here listening to Simon and Garfunkel pandora station, thinking of you, Ann Mary.

Thinking of our growing together.

Our moments of sisterhood.

My first memory is of 38th street, Washington D.C. summer on the front steps, drums in hand,

singing our song, we still know. Our audience having to listen over and over and paying to do so.

Then Cullowhee, N.C., blackberry picking for the day. Camping on the ridge, walking to town with Tom, our first real night staying up all night, even if unwillingly.

An airplane ride, a long airplane ride, collecting hard liquor bottles up and down the isles.

Then landing in, what has to be the hottest place I ever been at night. 2 a.m. and 103 degrees,

Dehli, India~ before flying through the clouds or mountains, not knowing which is which, into our new home for the next year for me, two years for you: Kathmandu, Nepal.

Our year together in our bedroom with views of the tallest mountains in the world.

Rickshaw riding, with you. (do you know that Bodeans song)

I loved Rickshaw riding with you.

And our three day trek, just you and me, a Shirpa and porters. I was 11 and you were 8. Holy Cow.

I loved being your big sister.

I loved being there for you.

You were so brave.

I have always thought so.

Back to D.C. with porches, books, jolly ranchers, pools and long walks, continuing our journey of sisters who do not always live together, and always excited to see each other again.

We grew up a lot... we are so different, yet have always been able to find ways to bring comfort to one another with our ways.

I miss hanging out with you Ann Mary.

You will always be Ann Mary to me ;o).

We missed you at the beach and this long viewing session is for you

so you might feel a little bit of what it was like.

I found the magic this time thanks for encouraging me:

My big ass beautiful family:

my amazing dad

rick and gracie

my family

my sister Kathy, Big Tim, Little Tim and Matt

Mike, Angie, Zach, Ben and Claire

Tom, Maria, Rachel and John

The Crandalls Elizabeth, Steve, Emily, Charlotte, Margaret, Paul, Caroline, Mark,
Jon Michael, Andrew, Harriet and Audrey

April, Chris, Max and Dash

the siblings minus Ann Mary

our big ass beautiful family (37 in all)

the two Max's snuggling: buddies for life

max and Jay

Mom/Fran and I

sisters

the first of a new tradition: parents night out!!!

wasabi fun

my boys

Ann Mary, I can't wait to hang out with you at the wedding in September!!!

Then we will plan another sister get together.

I need more Annie time.

I love you to the moon.

and it all began with a game of Ninja

2011-07-15T12:50:00.000-07:00

So I am not great at packing

and not stressing.

I try not to get all ADD while I am sorting

and planning

and puzzling all the bags

and pillows

and boogies boards

into every inch of the van.

There is a magic to getting everything in the right place.

A deep satisfaction.

But while trying to breath this satisfaction into the van, the boys are doing their thing.

Some of these "things" I approve of, while others drive me to the infamous,

"Go. Out. Side. Now." saying.

Well, they are up to it again. A well planned and thought out game of

Ninja

(the boys)

verses

The Stuffed Animals

For some reason they all had to wear hats.

Maybe they hid their weapons in there.

Who knows?

As I was reminding them, for the 50th time today, not to play in a certain room,

Rohan pipes up and says, so matter-of-factly, as Rohan does so well,

"STOP STRESSING OUT!!"

"It's kind of annoying!!"

"It is not KIND OF ANNOYING, It is ANNOYING!!"

Well, yes, Rohan it is.

So there you have it.

At least my kids are still super creative while I am off being

SUPER ANNOYING!

My super hero name for the day.

I should get an award too.

It is a talent.

Tomorrow, though, I will be the Mom who the minute we get to the beach,

puts my suit on with them and runs straight to the water

screaming with glee.

I hope they rename me tomorrow.

But for today:

I am stressing out.

Like it or Lump it.

:o)

the unbearable heaviness of moments

2011-07-01T19:59:00.000-07:00

there are moments.

moments that creep up on you, engulf you, almost suffocate you.

unexplainable. pulsatingly real moments of clarity.

at least it feels like clarity, or a message from the future.

I am having one of those clear, aching, verge of and spilling over tears moments.

My moment involves my boys... and letting go.

I think we have these moments because the thought of them not being in our lives, in our houses, everyday seems, well, quite unbearable.

I am having a preparing moment. Remembering to take time for the hugs and kisses that are always wanting to come my way (when many times I push them away with this and that I am doing of no particular importance)

Those kisses and hugs will be fewer and less and less and fewer and farther away, and I will long for these days of "I want you", "I need you".

So, we have these moments of unbearable sadness to prepare us for the inevitable.

If you love someone,

set them free.

Damn, I love my boys.

And I will, eventually, set them free.

But luckily, they are 6 and 9 and they actually still want to hang out with me,

everyday.

dreaming in greens (with buckets of thanks)

2011-06-10T17:20:00.000-07:00

This time of year always startles me. I feel like I have awoken from a hazy slumber to find everything green. I mean so green that the entire visual landscape has erupted and altered and created a new environment. It is as if I missed something altogether and the world changed without me.

A new, hot, energy comes alive and I am ready to adventure and explore with this altered bubbling spirit.

The fans are a whirring, the birds are enjoying conversations only they are privy to but seem to involve us anyway (at 5 a.m., 6 a.m. and any other time of day something important in going on in the trees), some animals scurry,others flop about in a lazy stupor.

Sprinklers, balls, bikes, board games, picnics are abound, bathing suits become our skin.

Bare feet and half naked kids run rampant, like crazed maniacs,like caffeinated, chocolate infused maniacs, until, at last they fall over, unable to move except to view the glowing box filled with movies and endless crappy t.v. shows.

Did I mention popsicles. The thousands of frozen licks and slurps and drips that fill each day at about hot o'clock as we search for that perfect shady spot to lull in as we melt, together.

Afternoon thunder and hopeful rain might bring the slightest breeze which becomes a celebration and a renewed energy for the evening cards, walks, frisbee.

Summer.

I am spoiled rotten.

Thanks Jay for this time for me to be the best Mom I can and to give the boys the best childhood I could imagine for them.

(I wanted to give a special shout out to Max who donated 11 inches of his hair to Locks for Love, in memory of his cousin Isabel and for all our loved ones who have fought the big, evil, C.)

Patio Memories Rusted with Love

2011-05-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

Short plastic chairs,

Old toys filled with sand and rain spattered dirt~

reminders of life

and play

and exploration,

of moving legs,

of negotiations and determination.

A patio:

Once a race track,

a drawing board,

an imaginary stage

for shorter legs

and shorter arms

and a wondering of what is possible:

alone

or together.

Rusted wheels,

dollar store toys for measuring, pouring, and moving

~sand or dirt~

Areas to engage and explore and become:

gardener

farmer

chef

racer

mom-pretender

dad-pretender

with:

keys

hats

cloaks

capes

and lots of boots

(the rubber, water proof variety)

moving around the yard,

the patio,

and through life~

splashing color and love

and creativity

and uncertainty

but with a willingness to find out.

I wondered when I would miss those days

so deep.

I long to rewind the tape,

pull the curtain closed and open it again to a day

5 years ago

when Rohan is 4

and Max is 1

and the world was

our

Opportunity.

And we had each other and I was their everything.

Okay~ Now I know~

I would never have had time to write this

or to Remember it.

It sure does grab your heart

(in that almost hurting way)

with thankfulness

and a knowing that:

These too are memory making

moments,

FULL

of Opportunity.

But I sure do miss those boots and the cute knees sticking out of the tops.

Happy Mother's Day to All you holders of Memories.

max

rohan

brother love

patio love

boots

Good Advice for Us All (via Ron Philbeck)

2011-04-16T14:52:00.002-07:00

Good Advice for Us All

Thanks Ron. I needed that.

I'm here and feeling life's grace

2011-04-06T16:51:00.000-07:00

Not much inspiration for blogging right now. I miss it but don't feel compelled to share any new information.

I am still working, moving, mothering, working, moving and mothering.

This weather is schizophrenic but I kind of like it like that. Soon we will be sweating and swimming and cooling ourselves in any section of shade that graces our path.

I am swimming more and running a little and working a lot.

I am thinking a lot about life and how fragile it is. My wonderful friend Barbara had a very painful weekend watching her mother's health decline rapidly and with grace, and a day with family, her mother moved on to the spirit world last night.
These are the moments when you are really in it. When life surrounds you, lashes at you, pounds you with sadness, some thoughts of peace, and with a clear understanding of how much we love the person and just how much we can LOVE. It brings what is actually important about life and relationships and smashes it in our faces. (whether we want it or are ready for it, or not.)
I wish for her a generous time for grieving, as well as a feeling of being surrounded by love and moments of deep breaths, beautiful skies and joy.
Barbara is a generous, ever smiling, loving friend who is always there to listen with sincerity and willing to be there at a moments notice. I am sending her wings of love tonight and for a while, as she moves through this heart wrenching moment in life.

Carpe Diem. Indeed.

Rohan performs King Henry V for NC Stage Fundraiser

2011-03-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

proud-filled weekend

2011-03-05T11:53:00.000-08:00

Well, in this rough economy, our family actually has much to be thankful for.

Jay was promoted from assistant manager to manager this week.

He decided not to apply for this position because they would not be able to pay him what he wanted for the job.

Well after six months of applications, the company could not find who they were looking for. No one was right for the position so...

They offered Jay the job and at the exact amount he desired!!!!

I am very proud of the hard work, dedication, work ethics and long hours he has put in to make our lives more full.

This reward is so deserved and will show off all of his leadership qualities.

He is going to be an awesome boss.

So... if you are in Asheville and need office supplies, Officemax on tunnel road will provide the best customer service there is!!!

Whoo Hoo Jay!!!!

Onto other boys in my life:

As most of you know, Rohan is in an intensive acting class. This semester they are studying Shakespeare scenes. The class is memorizing six or more scenes and then "auditioning" for the scene.

Rohan has been working very hard, every day reading and memorizing these parts. There was one in particular he connected with.

King Henry V.

Today, during class, he asked his teacher if he could perform it.

He blew the teacher away.

He was given the part and asked to participate in a special

performance this Tuesday at noon at NC Stage.

I was so proud of that little booger for several reasons.

1. He has worked really hard, with little complaints, memorizing all of these scenes the last three weeks.

2. He was brave enough to ask to perform it in front of the class

(not typical Rohan behavior)

3. He got the scene he really wanted!!!!

I feel so excited for him.

Lastly, My buddy Max is really doing awesome this year in Kindergarten. He has never been to school before and is thriving. He is a strong reader, has a solid grasp on Math and is great at following the class rules.

He has made some serious leaps in his anger/control issues by setting up a schedule for himself for the day. So that he is in control and does not have to be "controlled". He is a determined, hard working six year old.

He begins soccer in a couple of weeks and has been practicing in side yard. ;O)

(his mama smiles big that he loves soccer, her favorite)

I am one lucky lady.

As for me.... I hurt my knee running last Monday and am trying to get it back in order. Swimming instead.

I am trying to organize our stuff-filled house, a little at a time.

I am looking forward to more kiln tests and design exploration

and I am just enjoying this mild weather in the basement.

The clay does not make my fingers feel like I have arthritis :0)

Much to feel joy about here on Annie street.

Cheers and clink!

studio greenware and other tales

2011-02-23T12:29:00.000-08:00

Life continues on....

with kitty love (i mean LOVE),

little boy smiles,

some new pots

and some tired legs.

my "love" vase

the "max" series, inspired by early max drawings (i added the ears)

utensil holders...

tankards, turned vases

beautiful Pepper the kitty cat.

I am excited to glaze this new batch of pots. For the first time I will bisque them first and see if I can get some
more predictable results.

Running more and more recently. Well, I have to in order not to pass out during the 1/2 marathon. So April 9th will tell all. Do I have it in me or not. I have always wanted to run a marathon. A good friend is trying to talk me into running the Marine Corp Marathon in D.C. in October. It makes me nervous just thinking about it, oh and tired. ;o)
For now I have my sights set on 13.1 miles and will access my level of insanity after that goal is accomplished.

Here's to crocus's and daffodils and the feeling a touch of spring and inspire in the soul.

love is in the air

2011-02-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

‎~“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it

meaning.”

via Care Highway International

~The first duty of love is to listen ~ Paul Tillich

via Donna Bargoil Hertel (you always have the best

inspirational quotes)

I am not a huge fan of Valentine's Day. I mean I love to love

but I do not find the commercialization of love a beautiful thing.

Today I celebrate the love I have for my family. My husband,

who works so hard at a job that is unrewarding, my boys, who

love me unconditionally, even when I am sure I do not deserve

it, and most of all today for my Mom I have had since I was 3.

She went from a mother of two to a mother of 7 over night and

shared her passion for art, spirituality and grace with us all, but

especially me.

I love you and hope you feel loved on this special day of love.

(it is you birthday, after all!!!!)

running and cooking and throwing, oh my

2011-02-08T15:14:00.000-08:00

I have committed to a lot recently.

Training for a 1/2 marathon, April 9th.

Art show April 30th, my first in a very long time.

Work of many varieties, child care and home restoration.

Class room volunteer, at least once a week.

Drama Club assistant/organizer on Mondays

(although I have had a heck of a time getting it going this semester.. and not sure it will actually happen until next year.)

Mom,cleaner,cook,driver,gardener, home fixer, counselor,redirector,negotiation facilitator,worrier,etc.

Having goals helps me to focus and be more productive.

It makes me inspired and determined and energized.

It can also make me feel worn out and worried about being good enough to do it all.

So with a deep breath, I ran 6 miles this morning (burr...)

cleaned, grocered,laundered,cooked and

threw a some Unomi's (tea bowls or wine cups)

I feel satisfied but uncertain I can keep up this pace.

Wednesday's and Thursday's I have the privilege of hanging out with my buddy, the

almost walking, Axel.

Friday I am working with my friend Mary and need to get a long run in.

This is where I need to get organized and use my time management skills. I think I may need to borrow someones organization and time management skills. Are they for sale?

Mostly I feel excited about all these challenges and goals and responsibilities but sometimes I just want to hide under

the covers and take a nice, warm, nap.

Warm being the operative word here. Warm.

clay masks and monday's

2011-02-01T16:42:00.000-08:00

rohan's mask

sam's mask

katherine's mask

andrea's mask

judy's mask

max's mask (will take a better one soon)

sayo's mask

erisa's mask

Monday was a teacher work day and we had a mask making gathering.

Fabulous aren't they?

Heaven Mail

2011-01-25T12:50:00.000-08:00

Rohan has been working so hard for the last three months writing and performing this
piece about the death of his Great-Grandmother: Gigi.

Last night was his performance.

Have you ever passed gas at the most embarrassing moment? Well, poor Rohan did last night, at
the beginning of his performance. It paralyzed him and he was unable to remember the next line.
With a prompt from Mom, not only did he recover, he recovered with dignity and power.

He continues to impress me and surprise me with his integrity.

I have to admit, having seen him perform this at least 50 times, that he has been more powerful but in the
moment of the stage+nervousness+a OMG+ recovery, I just could not be more impressed. He even left out a few lines and moved on like a pro. Rohan you are amazing.

(The lighting and sound are not perfect but we are hoping to have a friend edit it and make it better ;o)).

prishope, pots, and panting

2011-01-23T05:48:00.000-08:00

Prishope

= pray, wish, hope.

There are times in our journey here on earth that we all need Prishope.

Jay and I have a couple of good friends who have been battling

with cancer.

One of our friends began an amazing Facebook support page called

Prishope: the power of positive thoughts united.

Prishoping can change the world.

Pots

I don't have a place set up for taking photos and I just wanted to

get a couple of shots of things I liked so that I could share and remember.

These are works in progress and there are only elements of each pot I like

but...

I am excited to get busy. The studio will be put back together this week

and I will begin the process of making, testing, firing, making, testing,

firing.

(this claybody is a mixture and has a grey tone that reminds me of some Scandinavian pots I have seen

from the 70's)

just liked how the green sat on top of the surface.. giving it some nice dimension.

some carving with a matt white on top- this I like and want to do more

same as above and the only pot I brought upstairs to use ;o)

Panting

The hot chocolate race is over and I did about the same time I

did last year, which is disappointing, but I felt better and finished feeling stronger, panting.

I did not push myself like I wish I had now, but I am proud that I did it and finished it!

My boys did awesome running their 1K up hill.

It was soooooooo Cold yesterday and they were troopers.

I usually get warm after 2 miles but seriously I was still cold at the end of the 6.2 miles and felt cold the rest of the day.

Our school raised over $12,000!

WE have some amazing parents who dedicated hours and hours and hours

to improve our children's education and create a fantastic race that is becoming really respected by the running community!

rohan was in the top 15 of over 150 kids.

max ran his race, pacing himself and smiling all the way!

Me finishing the race...up hill, with a wonderful friend motivating me to

finish strong. (she finished 10 minutes earlier and 1st in her age group!)

My boys sporting their well deserved medals and cool shirts.

So here we are:

~Rohan performs tomorrow night at 7:30

~I am thinking about signing up for a half marathon

~Rohan turns 9 next Thursday

~We make an excursion to Atlanta to celebrate Rohan, soon

~My studio will have an over haul and a rebirth this week!

and most of all:

~I am constantly inspired by people taking a day in their life and making it

extraordinary.

Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be

until you are what

you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

(this is actually my favorite MLK quote ;o))

I am on the path to becoming the me I ought to be. Life's journey!

I want to thank the constant flow of friends and family that push me to

do more

and be more

the pay off

2011-01-21T13:49:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the Hot Chocolate 10K and the Kids 1K Hill Run at our school.

The boys are running the hill run and I am running the 10K.

It will be a chilly gathering tomorrow.

I am dreaming of being just slightly nervous with an excitement to run.

A dream of course. More likely too nervous and a dread in the pit of my stomach.

I know that finish line will be glorious ;o)

Rohan's acting class had to postpone their December performances because of snow.

This Monday his class will perform their monologues.

He has worked so hard and has taxed his emotions with this one but I know

he will feel so proud of himself Monday night as he wow's the audience.

I will post the video next week for sure.

We have a new furnace and now I can put my studio back together... which is actually right in front of the furnace in the basement!

I am looking forward to making more pots that excite me and finding a good way to photograph them.

Here is to dreaming, failing and retrying and failing and learning and discovering what is possible.

~In clay, in relationships, in physical challenges, in cooking, in LIFE~

the snowy adventures of a woman and her dog

2011-01-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

Do not speak unless you can improve the silence ~proverb quotes

(check out the snow flakes in this my favorite)

I love dogs for so many reasons.

They want to do whatever you want.

They do not judge you or demand from you anything but love

and the occasional potty break.

They snuggle, protect, encourage, rejoice and

are full of excitement that you are alive....

regardless of your mood.

Thanks Fooky for a most magical walk with no complaining

and only silent wonder.

(one of my all time favorite bumper stickers:

God teach me to be the person my dog thinks I am)

2011: Let's do this thing

2011-01-06T14:02:00.000-08:00

Seriously? It's 2011?

People keep telling me that time gets faster

the older I get.

I am not that old and I feel like I just blinked and 2010 was gone.

Is is all the redirecting and intervention, the cooking, washing of clothes,

working, driving, doctor visits, grocery shopping that propels time into something unattainable?

Granted there are times when a couple of hours seems like a few months. But then the month is gone and a new month is already beginning. I can't keep up. Maybe I need to get into some kind of time chasing shape? Are there classes for that at the Y?

So, I decided to run our schools Hot Chocolate 10K again this year. I am already nervous. Really. I am one of those people. Beware.

I did not run for the last part of November and all of December. I was working a lot and had a cold that just would not retreat.

So here I go trying to get all my running in before the race day January 22nd.

No. It is really not a big deal. I was born to feel anxious about something and since the furnace is working okay at the moment and we are getting a new one for sure, I have to focus my anxiety on something else.

New Year's resolutions? Not really. I am sure to dwell on the lack of whatever it is I am going to give up and fail the first day so I just make a mental list of

what would make this year/life better.

1. be a yoga person. I try and fail a lot.

2. remind Jay more how proud I am of him and all he does for our family.

3. be patient: with my kids, my husband and myself

4. make pots I want to photograph

5. make pots

6. fire pots

7. find the energy to exercise, go to the studio,

be a great mom and work (part-time) all in the same day

(Jen Mecca share your secret)!

8. always be a advocate for my kids... their daily cheerleader.

9. eat more food I have (or the community garden) has grown

10. sell some pots

11. spend more time with FAMILY and all my nieces and nephews!

12. Call my parents more. They need to know how much I appreciate them all.

And I do... So Much!

Okay, well that about does it for now. My kids are playing together without using hands right this minute so we all are sharing a moment of peace.

I love peace. In any form I get it.

Peace to this house and to the world.

Bring it on 2011!!!

Just a few lego projects put together over the holidays. They actually got three more after Christmas with gift certificates... that are not photographed!

boba fett's ship!

luke's sand speeder and fooky

Hogwarts castle

A scene from a battle at Hoth (star wars lingo)

a message of joy

2010-12-26T12:30:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. ~Carol Nelson

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time. ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

I lost the spirit of Christmas a few weeks ago.

It made me sad and a bit lack luster.

The boys were showing love with "energetic" affection.

The loud bantering and the "MOM, he did....blah blah to me"

and my never ending cold, set me into this spiral.

As Christmas approached and we took a moment to share memories with family in Durham, we became calmer and more full of the true spirit of Christmas. Family makes you centered, less self-centered and full of more joy, of meaning, of excitement. We sure did need that 24 hours of family spirit.

I was desperately looking for the spirit... In the end it was found and the magically restored.

Our Christmas Morning was shared with Jay's Mom, Baba. It was gorgeous as the snow fell and the presents were unveiled.

Then it was all about the snow.

Max's drawing for a project

Rohan's drawing

We decided to make more freezer paper stencil presents

Max's dish towel

Rohan's

What Santa left the Boys this year. There were some busy elves and am thankful for Santa's helpers!

My silly boys

Candy if only for a moment

~WHITE CHRISTMAS~

On Christmas this road is empty.. so we found the best sledding hill EVER!

Fookys favorite time of the year

SNOW BALL FIGHT

Jay came out to play with us! That is when the snow balling began!

We are thinking about trying to get into an acting agency to do commercials.

My friend Adam helped us take "headshot" photos for our resume.

These are the ones we chose!

The New Year will bring more firings and testing, purging of stuff, more outside time,

creative time, dreaming, reading, playing with friends, family gatherings, soul searching and

laughter.

I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful for my friends.

I am thankful to have enough.

I am thankful to have heat.

I am thankful that I have time to do this.

I am thankful I can still dream.

I am thankful for the pure magic and joy children bring to me everyday.

I truly wish each of you a peaceful and laughter-filled rest of this year and for the entire

2011

quiet white

2010-12-12T08:14:00.000-08:00

whispers fell from above

eyes open, clothes on, sleds out

hot cocoa breath dreams

thanks susan for inspiring poetry and haiku my favorite ;o)

The true meaning of life

2010-12-11T16:00:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiC_9RHTvsA

This video is a life changer. It represents the true meaning of life. Please watch it.

(I have not been blogging lately. I miss it but I am doing other things right now.

I will be back soon ;o))

Hope this holiday season finds you inspired and full of spirit.

WHOO HOO!!!!!

2010-11-28T14:55:00.001-08:00

For those who have been sooo supportive:

The kiln fired and shut off the way it is SUPPOSED TO!!!!

DEEP SIGH OF RELIEF AND ANTICIPATION TO SEE THE RESULTS.

Yee Haw and Yipee!

Now for some serious glaze testing!!!

and maybe a clay body change?

Ahhh.........

the imagine nation: visual journey

2010-11-28T10:59:00.000-08:00

the Artful Parent thanks for this fabulous project idea

We decided to write each family members name on a leaf

and keep it on our gathering table

friends gathering for stories

Our imagine nation station... wanting to improve

Max in destruction mode

Rohan gutting any broken thing around

His new creation Robie the Robot. It rolls!

Every year we take whimsical Christmas Pictures. This year

we have Santa and His brother Santalo, a pirate.

These are a few of my favorites... they will become some sort

of card as I mix it up in photoshop ;o)

After our photo shoot we need a cup of cocoa with a "few"

marshmallows

Rohan has been into creating these worlds with maps, characters

and journeys.

This is one of many.....

As I am writing... the kiln is firing... it is on high and I am so waiting for the sound of the click off of

power in a few hours... hoping by dinner!

We got the tree today and the lights are up... waiting for Papa to trim it!!!

(did i tell you i love christmas with kids. magic at its most magical)

Last thing:

Rohan asked me today:

" Don't you think Santa knows God? We could ask Santa to get a note from somebody in Heaven, like Gigi. We would be the first people to get a note from heaven... that would be so awesome to get a note from Gigi." Yes, it would Rohan.

thanks fullness

2010-11-25T04:12:00.000-08:00

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

I am full of thanks this morning and actually, most mornings.

There are so many things to be thankful for.

Here are my top five.

1. family

2. friends

3. health

4.being outside

5. determination

Here is to celebrating thanks and hopefully being able to do it with family and/or

friends.

p.s. I am also thankful for Les, my kiln fixer, for making my kiln work again. I will

be firing Sunday.... still holding my breath but with hope and thanks.

hope reservation

2010-11-23T05:50:00.000-08:00

Les, my kiln fixer, was here last night and will be back today.

I have a hope reservation.

One part fear and uncertainty

One part excitement and determination.

Not sure what that equals:

Excited fear?

Determined uncertainty?

Determined fear?

Excited uncertainty?

Anticipation.

Hoping.

With reservation.

Judith W. Freeman: part Mom part Super Hero

2010-11-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

I think about my Mom's a lot.
I think I have said before that I am lucky enough to have four Mom's.

Each of them have made me a better woman and taught me to celebrate Motherhood.

This post is dedicated to my very first Mom and my very first Super Hero.

Who was your first best friend? The person who you were so excited to see and spend time
with that you felt all giddy inside. The person who made you feel smart, creative and safe all at the same time.

Mine was my Mom. I would rather had spend time with her then anyone else in the world.
I remember sitting at the kitchen table, drawing, eating, playing, doing nothing at all, just to be with her, in her sanctuary.

See my Mom, when I was two, became a single parent of four kids, I was the youngest. I think this was somewhat of a surprise to her but she took it for what it was and continued to make her children's lives, extraordinary and magical.

I often find my two children driving me the brink of emotional disaster and then my heart sinks and I think of my Mom. Four kids, getting her MBA at Wake Forest and being there for us, I mean really being there for us.
How did you do it without a break or a companion to rely on?

I suppose we just get stronger and we just have to do it because that is the hand we have been dealt.

I want to interject here that my Father was a very important and active Dad in our lives. He made sure he was there for us in body and in voice (our weekly phone calls). As was my other Mother.... she made sure she found time to create a bond.. a connection.. even with her family growing by four over night.

But...
This story is about my Mom, a woman who wore her emotions on her sleeve, who worked many hours and then came home and made dinner (after her 10 minutes of peace) and then helped with homework, read books, snuggled us... and I am sure collapsed.

My Mom was and is a writer. She stitches together words like fabric and with the fluidity of paint on a canvas bringing a moment back to life... as if you are there again. I have always wanted some of her wizardry.

I don't tell her enough how inspiring she was and is and how her spirit for joy, magic and surprise has carried over into my house.

At my house growing up we brought jars of fireflies into the house, turned off the lights and watched them become stars in our den. (i am not sure my mother approved but we had magical freedom)

An elf visited our house in the summer, leaving jacks, jump ropes, bubbles and other wonderful things and then his shoe always in the back door reminding us of what is possible.

Every holiday the house was filled with smells that made you jump for joy, with decorations, family gatherings, stories and games. We always had enough Christmas advent activities for each child to have something to do each day... Santa always left a boot print and after Santa became an idea, she changed it up and would send us on scavenger hunts to find our stockings... she is a creative, loving, genius.

My Mom always made us feel important, special and worth while. She believed in us and also gave us the freedom to learn life's lessons...

We had a skate rink in our basement and a badminton net in the attic.
We made fan tents each summer, a sheet, some safety pins and a box fan... it was refreshing and super fun.
Sometimes we would set up an entire new bedroom on our balcony outside... with beds and alarm clocks. (We did not have air conditioning so I guess this was our open air bedroom)

My Mom took us swimming almost every Friday night, four kids, after working all week, seriously WOW. It was a highlight of my childhood and I try to do this with my kids too.. although not as consistent.

She was always looking for ways to make unpleasant situations into an opportunity to let go... when my big sister got a dent in our new car, she put a rainbow sticker on it. That is how she was... and is.
(sometimes it is easier to help others let go then it is ourselves, right Mom?)

I remember ghost story night, sitting on Mom's bed as she reads us, in her animated voice, the "true" North Carolina stories of ghosts and spirits.

I remember Mom sleeping on the couch and me curled up on top of her, following her form.

She made a chore list that she put on the fridge... dividing the chores between four kids.
What a smart lady and what a great lesson for the kids to be responsible. We, of course, were not always responsible but it was great that she expected it from us.

I remember thinking of my Mom as a super hero.

When I was away from her my heart ached.

When she started dating again I would sit at the top of the stairs and wait for her to come home. When I heard the door knob turn I would run as fast I could and jump in bed. I just needed to know she was home.

In Kindergarten, we had a BIG fire in our attic. A woman driving by saw the smoke coming from our windows and woke us up. I slept with my Mom from that day until fourth or fifth grade and sometimes afterwards.

Life and relationships change. My relationship changed with my Mom around the time I was a preteen. I had an amazing opportunity to live in Nepal. But my Mom would not be there. ONE YEAR.
I grew up. I had to. My Mom had been my everything and I had to learn how to live without her.
I think it made me strong but also put up some emotional walls.

As we move into this next phase of life... both getting older, I grasp more to what I knew and learned.
What I admired and awed at in my Mom.

My Mom's most valuable gift and present she has taught me... you must be able to laugh at yourself and love yourself. She taught me that pain (she lives with excruciating chronic pain) cannot stop you from living life.

Judy Freeman, Lulu, Momly, JJ, Grammylu

I cannot imagine choosing anyone else to be my Mom.

You are life changing and have given me the joy of magical wonder for which I rejoice in my kids.

I love you, you amazing, generous, thoughtful, creative woman you.

Me and my Mom the Super Hero.

magic and mayhem

2010-11-12T04:37:00.000-08:00

Well, last week we finally got together with some good friends to try out this new, to us,

art project! It is called freezer paper stenciling. I first read about the idea in one of the blogs I re ad the Artful Parent . I got so excited I emailed my friend Sayo right away and got her excited too!
So here are our first attempts:

steps:
1. we had the kids do a simple drawing with one color sharpie on white paper

2. tear off freezer paper, enough to cover the image by about four or five inches around its border
3. with and exacto knife carefully cut around the image (harder then I thought)

4. you will have a positive and negative cut out of the image

5. tear a bigger sheet of freezer paper (turn your iron on)

6. get your fabric piece... put the non cut out piece under the fabric (if t-shirt, between the two layers so the paint is only on the front or back)

7. Lay down your image carefully

8. iron... use the setting according to the fabric needs. Make sure it is ironed down well

9. paint... we used acrylics which worked fine but then just ordered some fabric paint from
https://www.dharmatrading.com/html/eng/1818-AA.shtml?lnav=paints_kits.html.
I can't wait to try this again.

The one below, Max painted too hard and the little edges came up...

Maybe next week we will have more images up!

our first freezer paper attempt... we did not iron it hot enough but still cool

the positive image of the one above! Max's design of a turtle

Rohan's design and so amazing. I wish I had made 100.

Jay and the Boys created this cool replica of a lego game out now. They even played it! Jay has awesome computer resources! What fun.

Daddy and the boys replicated a lego game they saw for sale... ingenious.

While I was making coffee Thursday Morning.... this is what was brewing in the boys room.

Rohan became some sort of sorcerer/wizard/scientist.... creativity at its best. These are moments I cherish as a mommy.

Now... onto me and my thoughts.

I went running yesterday.

I drove to Warren Wilson College to try out their trails.

(We lived near there for 9 years so I know the trails well!)

I normally run at a park near by or from the house.

I circle around and around at the park like a hamster in a wheel.

Or I pound and pound the pavement becoming one with the cars and the fumes.

The trails:

I had forgotten how magical it could be to run on a trail. I hike a lot with the kids so I am no foreigner to the trail... but I have not run on them in a long while.

Here is what kept reoccurring over and over.

I felt like a completely transformed person.

Being in nature, on a dirt trail makes you feel like an integral part of your surroundings.

It makes you become aware of your breath, the birds, the water, the air.

I no longer felt like a machine with other machines struggling to make it to the next destination.

I became part of my surroundings but these were the kind of surroundings that inspire, engage and allow you to loose yourself in the moment.

I am not saying it was not challenging to run 6 miles... it is just that is was an enjoyable challenge and that I felt like I was in 12th grade again at cross country giggling and crunching leaves and pretending I was a character from the movie Meatballs (woody the rabbit, running through the woods like a jack rabbit).

Maybe this magic will not last. I am going to run on trails again, for sure. Hopefully once a week. I will hold on to that memory of completeness and beauty.

What ever your belief is about the creation of this stupendous sphere.....it truly is a miracle.

too much time gone by

2010-11-08T04:41:00.000-08:00

Halloween. Our family, well, Rohan especially, lives for the next Halloween.

His life is dress up, created characters and some form of acting or another.

Halloween is his time to observe with awe and to soak in a time of year when everyone else is also excited to become a new character.

This year we were:

Max: Darth Vadar

Rohan: Willy Wonka

Dad: Pirate

Mom: Hippi Longstocking

(my costume was created out of an innocent mistake... Max accidentally said my Pippi Longstocking outfit was Hippi Longstocking.... I loved it so much I promptly found all the items I needed to make this a reality!)

I made witches hands for the kids classes this year... thanks to my friend Judy for this wonderful idea.

It was a big hit!

This was a balmy day the week before Halloween.

My boys love rain. Here is their rain story:

(i love this one a lot)

Believe it or not I have been super busy! Mondays I spend running, grocery shopping, cleaning and then to school from 12:30 until 4. We have drama club every Monday and I volunteer before that.

I have also been fortunate enough to have some extra "work" right now. A friend is renovating a house and she invited me to help her. So... on my days I am not playing and caring for my buddy Axel.. I am scrapping something.

Needless to say the kiln and the studio are feeling lonely and left out. I have found one part I need but have not fixed anything yet. It sits there in the back of my mind like a muddy pile of leaves waiting to be raked. I need to move on.... and get this giant oven fixed.

I do love fall and slippers and blankets but am not ready for the heat to be on and for shivers.

May you enjoy your crunchy walks, warm ovens and sock covered toes.

Max's Star Wars Birthday!

2010-11-04T15:20:00.001-07:00

I was too busy to take photos so Max's Baba was wonderful enough to do it for me!!! Finally posting some pics!
Click here to view photos

We began the party running around like crazy, as most parties do. We then focused and began our Jedi training with Master Athar (Rohan). He instructed the Padwan how to defeat the Dark Side. After the instruction we had an obstacle course through Dagobah with Yoda in our back pack... at the end of the course you had to defeat Darth Vadar! It was a bit silly and took time, as one person did it at a time but when you won Athar gave you a certificate and a prize.

Next they bombed the Death Star with water balloons. Messy and super fun...

Then a game of freeze the Sith. One Jedi to freeze all the Sith (Freeze tag). The Sith Won. The Jedi was out numbered for sure.

Cake, presents and battles ensued. Mom was super tired and glad his Jengo Fett had such a great time. Now for a beer.

tidbits

2010-10-28T04:32:00.000-07:00

Tidbits are all I have right now.

More elaborate news to follow.

We celebrated a six year old birthday, star wars style.

Fun and exhausting. Photo's to follow.

I am working with a friends fixing up an old house on my days off.

Heat gun, scrappers and industrial mask.

(I need Christmas money and the whole kiln thing has depressed me too much)

Oh the kiln. Well a major wire melted today....the one between the kiln sitter and the switches. I need another new infinite switch, and maybe some switch wires. I guess when you have an old kiln that has been sitting for a while you need to just replace everything. I have not given up... just feel a bit sad and despondent.I have not worked in the studio for a couple of weeks because I it just makes me feel defeated.

Enough of that.

HALLOWEEN IS THIS SUNDAY!

We are very excited and are hoping these last few days slow down and let us enjoy October before it blows on by us.

Hmm. That's all for now.

i need a drink... no really, i do.

2010-10-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, maybe I am not supposed to be a potter after all.

Fired today.

Well, at least I thought I would be.

^06 went down at 1:30.... Hooray!

I was super excited, and yes I am one of those who put cone packs in an electric kiln, I am programmed to make cone packs.

An hour ago I went to check... all the lights were glowing and the inside was that beautiful red hot every potter loves to see.

Then....

I went to check again.

Nothing. The lights on the elements were off. The breaker was not off, the plug was good,

the cone did not set it off, nothing I could see should have made the connection to the elements turn off.

I really want to cry but I am too angry and sad and frustrated.

At this point I just want to know that I did not spend all this money on a "thing" that is not EVER going to work.

Bummed is an understatement.

I am so thankful that Monks invented beer. I need one.

holding my breath til tuesday

2010-10-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

Someone came today,on a Sunday, to help me with my kiln. I had super

high hopes and as the minutes turned to hours I began to think

I WAS DOOMED.

My helper left after over 2 hours of trying to figure it out.

I was bummed.

Then, He called and said, I know what it is. It was something really simple

and IT WORKED!

It is all about what wire is hooked where and what ground wire is hooked

there and how tight everything is.

When I got off the phone, I ran down to the basement and fixed it myself!

I am going to fire it on Tuesday.

I will hold my breath until cone 6 bends and the kiln shuts itself off without

me touching a thing!

the inside of the switch box

the inside of the element terminal and all the crazy wires attached properly!

a side view

my headache with hope

This morning was a complete cooperative lego event.

There were lego's everywhere. Seriously.

I was impressed at their determination and drive to work together.

I said as long as they were put away by bed time they could play all day

(except for chore time ;o))

Halloween is an exciting time at our house.

We used to begin decorating Sept. 1. I quietly did not mention

anything Halloween and was able to put it off until Sept. 31!

the boys contribution

this is our family member: Armleg

He was born with an arm for a leg and he hangs in our house all year round.

We love armleg.

Well here is to patience, determination and the dream to have a working kiln.

I hope to have photo's posted of properly fired pots by next Thursday!

biting the bullet, proposals and camping.....

2010-10-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it.

I called someone to help me not screw up my kiln MORE.

I did not tell you what happened when I installed my ground wire.

My plug and ground wire did not come with instructions.

I guessed.

I guessed wrong.

I installed the ground wire wrong and when I turned the power on

there where sparks and the fuse flipped off.

SHIT.

I said this out loud I think.

I opened the other boxes on the other parts of the kiln to se what I did wrong, a little late.....
OH, you have to bolt it to a separate place entirely.

I feel not so smart at this point and wonder what I have fried.

Well, L. has assured me it is the infinity switch. I tell him to come any way and make sure and help me make this crazy, now seemingly foreign thing, work!!!!

So, Sunday I hope to have a working kiln or at least concrete answers as to what to do next.

Sigh and I can't wait.

the culprit

Most of you know the story of Max and his many proposals, but for those (family members) who do not do the evil Facebook I will fill you in.

I noticed Max's allure on my first field trip. Two or three girls puckered up their lips at him waiting for something to be returned.

Max would have nothing to do with it.

Then Max kept telling me about this girl who would drive him crazy wanting to sit next to him wherever he was. "Mom, You don't know her. She is crazy. She will NOT leave me alone."

So Wednesday I am picking up the boys and Max first. His class comes out in a line.

Max runs over to me and it begins. The series of proposals.

A, oh so sweet, kiss is blown his way. And this follows,

"Max, I'll marry you when I grow up".

There is a slight pause.

Then a another blown kiss further on down the line and a "Me,too!"

and another and another and another.

I stood there wondering what just happened.

Then I saw Max. He grimaced, flashed his smirky smile and turned off in disgust as I busted out laughing with a feeling of OMG what just happened.

Today two new girls professed their desires for marriage.

I think we will read Where Did I Come From this weekend.

Rohan and the entire Third grade are camping tonight.
Jay and Max are there right now eating dinner, singing camp songs and eating smores.

How cool to spend the night with your class and friends in a cabin and experience life outside school with adults you call "teachers".

I will be there all day tomorrow for those of you wondering why I did not join in the fun. Besides, Rohan will have more fun with out "high expectation" Mom there to ruin it for him ;o).

WE have an amazing school with a seriously dedicated staff.

ENOUGH of this day... where is tomorrow?

2010-10-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

I am having one of those days.

The kiln is frustrating me to no end. I have no idea what is wrong or how to fix it.

I have put new elements in, new bolts,screws,washers, wires and still the elements are not getting red hot.

I am stumped.

On top of that my controlling, demanding, expectation side has reared its ugly head.

Rohan is going through a serious stage of I want to do what I want and I do not care what you say.

He wants to do the bare minimum to get by and does not want to push himself.

And he is lying to me.

This pulls, pushes, and stretches every button I have.

What I know.

I should be calm, listen, be understanding that he is shouting out for attention and acceptance.

What do I do?

Get angry, frustrated and feel the need to be apart from him.

At Drama club today, he did not want to do some of the exercises. As I spent a good hour and a half today working on Drama Club matters I felt personally accosted. Why do I take these things so personally?

(I did begin my "cycle" today... and it is not pretty in my system ;o))

He then came home and began his homework. Great, right? Except he changed the timer, that tells him when he is done reading, while I was outside with Max doing homework. He lied about it... and lied

and lied until I told him I knew he changed it because I knew what time I put it on.

He thinks he should not have a consequence for lying.

Deep breath inserted and a REALLY?

This is a day when I am dreaming of the kids sleeping in their beds, a lovely drink in my hands,

quiet, and a new beginning tomorrow.

A new tomorrow. please.

Halloween Chinese Celebration and other tales

2010-10-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

I had never been to a Halloween Chinese Celebration until....

yesterday.

Something is in the air and it makes the kids more creative and spunky.

As I was making our homemade pizza and salad for dinner,

the boys were feverishly creating an act to perform.

They gathered their props, made some tickets, set up the

viewing area and proceeded to invite us to the first

Annual Halloween Chinese Celebration.

Puppy (a stuffed animal) and I were given tickets for row 4.

Dragon and Jay sat in row 5.

We put our tickets in the top hat, took our seats and the show began.

There was dancing and banging of drums. It was wonderful. The sun was setting,

the wind was blowing, we were sporting jackets from the chill and the kids were just plain excited to be alive.

Afterwards we fill the hat with coins and clapped profusely.

Here are a few shots of the event but none do it justice, except maybe Jay sipping a "hot" drink at intermission. (hot water from the tap ;o))

Influences and the subconscious can rear their heads at the most unusual times.

I posted on throwing slabs and was not sure what I was going to do with them.

I have made some new cyber clay influences recently and one of them is Tracy Broome.

I love her hand built barns. The textures and detail are amazing. The layers of textures and colors make it have the appearance of wood and that comforting, alluring quality that all barns have. She has also been super encouraging through this rediscovery of clay....

I have also enjoyed Vicki Hartman's hand-built work. The simplicity, bold colors and drawing intrigue and demand attention.

This got me to thinking about

Chuck Chamberlain, my friend and previous professor at ECU. He made these incredible, elaborate,

organic, church like structures. I tried it once.... too many years ago and still have a result of one,

sitting in my garden.

Well, between the three of them and my experiences in life... I decided to begin a series about sacred spaces. It is more about architecture and light and surprises so I am not quite sure how it will all turn out. Here is the first one I have been working on.

It is now finished but was not in the photos.

I started a new one today that will have a dome base... not sure how it will progress but I am excited. I like to work on the inside of pieces to so that the viewer has surprises to find... my Chagall influences I guess.

My headache:

It is still not working and still having trouble ordering the right parts.

I had spent 40 minutes in front of my kiln explaining to the person what I needed and still did not get the right parts!

I am hopeful the new shipment will be right but that makes it another week with finished work piling up and me wondering if I will ever get it firing.

HOPE. At least I have it right now and persistence.

This WILL happen. I just have to make it happen.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”
Calvin Coolidge quotes

Sometimes bribing works

2010-10-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

Rohan has been struggling with wanting to go to his acting class.

It is 10 -12:30 on Saturdays.

He is, by far, the youngest there. The other students sport cell phones and a different language that Rohan is not privy to yet.

"I don't fit in Mom".

So I have been questioning if I made the right decision encouraging and insisting he partake in this class. The opportunity is unbelievable but that does not make it Right.

Rohan had a homework assignment three weeks ago to take a private, memorable moment and make it into something he could share on stage. This in itself was challenging...as 8 years of life experience does not always allow for powerful, private moments.

Sadly we have had some though. With Dad's help, asking pertinent questions, Rohan wrote a "scene" about the day we wrote and burned prayers for his Gigi (great-grandmother).

Here is the script:

(his idea: he begins laying down, like we are on a bed talking... he turns to talk to me)

~Mom I had an idea

~I really miss Gigi and I really want to talk to her

~Max said maybe we could write down the stuff we wanted to tell her. And

then, we could burn the notes with a candle and the smoke would take our thoughts

to Gigi in heaven. (pause)

~Like heaven mail.

~We found this candle at Gigi's house. Can you light it and I'll go get some paper?

(Rohan walks across stage to get the paper and pretending to write he reads each aloud:)

1. Things are gonna change, now that you're gone.

2. But you'll be with us, in our hearts.

3. I know we're not going to your house anymore for Halloween.... or Christmas

4. I hope you have really good food now and that you get to see all the friends you missed.

5. I hope you aren't in anymore pain, because you were before.

6. I miss you very much....I love you.

(he pretends to light the paper and watches the smoke go to up to heaven)

He worked hard on this at home. He did an amazing job.

He DID NOT want to perform it though, in front of his class.

He was intimidated and nervous and was not going to do it unless Michael, his teacher, asked him too.

Here is where the bride came in.... Rohan LOVES Halloween....a whole, spooky lot!

I found the coolest Halloween nutcrackers at Target last week. I am a sucker for things I KNOW my kids will love.

I told him that if he volunteered on Saturday I would give him a super cool Halloween gift.. otherwise he would get it later at Christmas.

Well, it worked. He volunteered.

When he was finished his scene

an older girl asked him, "How old are you?"

"8"

( the class is for 11-18 year olds)

She put her hands over her mouth in disbelief.

Rohan's teacher, Michael, said "Now you know why Rohan is here."

He also asked Rohan to make this little scene into a five minute one man show for the

class finale.

I could not have been prouder of Rohan. I cannot imagine how awkward it must be to have no other "kids" your age to hang out with for 2 1/2 hours and to have emotionally challenging assignments that would challenge any age.

He was brave.

He was proud of himself

and his anxiety about the class melted away.

He said, "Now they know me a little better."

It might have been the Bribe, or his decision that "today I am going to do it"...

but whatever it was.. Rohan proved to himself that hard things can bring joy and

can make you feel really strong.

He will perform this piece on December 10th at NC Stage with the other 10 students selected for this acting intensive.

~I have to give a BIG kudos to Max also who is reading Cat in the Hat now. This is a harder Suess, if you don't remember. Max likes to push himself. He is a go getter and a determined little soul. He is my snuggle bug.

(I love this photo... he is, unfortunately, cute when he is angry)

This fall air has energized us and has also made us want to snuggle more.

What a lovely combination!

getting wired...

2010-09-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

I think I might fix old electric kilns, part-time, of course.

After changing both the bottom and middle elements and beginning the top... I noticed that the switch wires that connect to the terminal board are all frayed and need to be replaced.

Once again I am on the phone ordering new parts and wondering if I will ever get this old beat up thing working properly.

I really do not want to fix kilns... but I feel like when I am done making this kiln run that I will be able to at least offer some sound advice.

So hopefully Friday I will have the new parts and will be able to put the electrical puzzle pieces together.

Otherwise I am going to have a studio full of unfired work and no room to make more.

That will just not do.

Onto other things.

I had a strange bout of vertigo on Monday. I woke up, dizzy and nauseous and proceeded to throw up from it all. My wonderful kids took care of their breakfast and morning school duties while relishing in the fact that they would be going late to school. I certainly could not drive them.

Daddy had to come home from work and bring them in late.

I lay in bed most of the day. It took two or three hours for the nausea to go away but eventually I began to feel a bit better.

That afternoon was our first After school Drama Club for the Kindergarteners and 1st graders. I went fabulously. The next class is for the 2nd -5th... alternating Monday afternoons. Fun fun even with my dizziness tagging along.

(It has not gone away altogether just more manageable... I think it was from swimming too many laps on Friday and then swimming again on Sunday some water/ear thing.

This week I have found that there are weird and wonderful connections everywhere.... you just have to be open to them. I love to feel connected.

Now if I could just get my kiln connected it would be awesome!

throwing slabs

2010-09-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

This morning I finished glazing some pots that had been

sitting around for..... ahem... a while for sure.

When I was done I decided to reprocess some clay and

break down some harder, sitting around clay,

to be reprocessed soon.

I found a semi wet bag of clay and decided to make some slabs of clay.

I was thinking about a class I took at Penland, summer of 1992,

with Charles Malin.

An earthenware handbuilding tea pot class.

I am traditionally a thrower so this was a shift for me and

to top it off one of my favorite potters was teaching upstairs, Ron Meyers.

So here I was with slabs of clay, a lot of slips and even more beer.

I have to say I loved the class and made some funky and cool tea pots. Not even sure where they are right now but...

So I decided to throw some slabs this morning. I love old traditional methods of working with clay that do not involve too many machines and preciseness. I love things that are not too uniform.

(you should see how I dress)

To throw a slab of clay...

1. pound the clay down with fists until uniform thickness

2. find a clean, relatively flat surface

3. Pick up the clay and as you are throwing it down, you pull one part toward you or away from you to stretch the clay.

4. grab it from the other side and continue, changing directions and flipping the clay over until it is the thickness you desire.

It feel great when doing this... not sure how to describe it really.

The slabs are drying right now, waiting to become something.

I can't wait either, to see what they become.

Thanks rainy day Sunday for this calm.

We went swimming with friends this afternoon and on the way home, Rohan said, "This is a great day for the spirits, playing in the rain".

That kid sure is testing me with his confrontational approach to communicate right now.... BUT he always amazes me with his insights and depth.

Here's for the spirits playing in the rain. I just might join them.

bits and pieces of time

2010-09-25T12:20:00.000-07:00

It took me a while to come back.

While I was away I have been running... longer distances, starting to swim laps again,

volunteering at school (Mondays), getting all the drama club ducks in a row,

working with my little 4 month old buddy, potting/painting/mixing/cleaning studio,

and all the other things that go along with living and making it flow, relatively, smoothly.

I am one fortunate and lucky woman/wife/mama!

Just wanted you to know that I appreciate it all.

A( gigantic) lot.

I found this table on the side of the road. It had several years of laminate tableclothes on it.

It also had potential. I wanted it and I wanted to make a festive porch table..... for meals,

games, quiet moments.

The boys and I primed it and I painted it.

(The design in the middle was made with a bubble blowing stick. ;o))

(After connecting with a friend from over 20 years ago, I painted this table

with her creative soul as my guide!)

I woke up to this scene this morning. I love how the figures tell a story, even if I read a different story then was intended by the story maker.

I love child spirit in action.

A good friend of mine inspires me with her positive parenting.

I tend to always have negative consequences and forget about building up the self-esteem

with incentive and reward.

We have adopted her strategy of earning tickets for things that are challenging us...

like putting out dirty clothes in the hamper, cleaning out our lunch boxes,

putting all of our toys away before bed (with out reminders).

They receive the tickets to earn special things...

play-dates (6), dinner out(10), a special dessert (4), dinner requests (3),

even a day off from school (30 tickets saved)

It is all new but they are motivated and have special places they keep their star wars tickets.

I love being inspired by others.

Rohan's clay heads

Rohan's canoe and paddler

We had friends over for a play-date and made it a claydate (corny I know but....)

Some tall bowls that look like a chalice from hell.

(A whole bottle of wine could fit in the bowl)

I wanted to cut openings in the foot of the bowl but they dried out too soon.

I will make more later.

I make mugs. A lot of mugs.

altered mugs.

So... my kiln has been taken apart, cleaned, inspected and tested only to find out the top

elements, I thought were working properly, need to be replaced. I ordered the parts

now I just have to wait, fix it and hope I do not have to call our local kiln repair person.

I have been in the studio this week and it feels great. I can't wait to have finished work to critique

and possibly sell!

(p.s. I have a new clay friend, her daughter is in Max's class and we have many connections. She is putting the fire under me... and that will put fire under my pots ;o)

These are my play mates during the week while my human companions are at work and school.

They make me feel all warm and fuzzy, very fuzzy and sometimes hairy.

pickles (the only other female companion around)

pepper (snuggle kitty)

Fooky our protector and friend

Pepper and Rabbit (my three legged small animal killer)

my neighbors and alternate universes

2010-09-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

I have neighbors like most other people.

We are friends, wave, say hi

and enjoy having each other as

neighbors.

My neighbors remind me everyday the fragility of

the mind.

We live next to two group homes

(and a lovely, older, alcoholic who likes

to listen to rock n roll, often loud)

"M" is a good friend who is bipolar and likes to write stories.

"D" is "M's" best buddy, they loves to crack each other up and you can hear their contagious laughter from blocks away.

"D" has severe diabete's and not sure what else.

He plays swords with the boys

and lets them jump all over him.

"M" has long conversations with the boys.

"Can we come up "M"" the boys yell up our small hill separating the houses.

"M" has been a good friend, feeding our cats when we are away, asking if I need help if he sees the need and just generally having thoughtful conversations.

There is also "C" who used to own a successful bar and was found walking down the middle of the highway one night. She walks a lot and finds treasures on the side of the road. I helped her move into her own place last year. She did not make it there.

She returned about five months ago. She forgot to eat.

"P" is a recovering drup addict and wheelchair bound. He was doing well making lots of money in the tech field only to discover cocaine.

He is an intelligent, born again, guy who seems lonely and knocks on his housemates doors all night looking for companionship.

"J" talks with a slur. I understand some of what she says.

She told me she once owned a cabin in Wolf Laurel.

She loved living alone with her dogs. I gave her a hair cut last week. (I was not too confident in this but she really wanted it cut and no one else would help her)

She has a big space in the front of her mouth where her teeth used to be. It makes her smile better.

She always waves to me and asks how I am doing.

Another "J" can often be found at the top of the parking lot talking about something to himself, seeming amused and happy about his conversations.

"How's it going Broomhilda?" He yells to me all the time. He makes me laugh.

There is a quiet "M" who I see walking a lot. Always in a down vest, winter or summer. Once or twice a year he forgets to take his meds and can be heard reciting proclamations about Jesus and the bible for hours at a time. I feel like I am at a revival ;o).

Rocking chairs aline the porches of each house. Cigarettes are plentiful and glowing at most hours of the days and evening until "lights out" at 10.

One gentleman, can't remember his name, sits in a rocking chair all day looking at himself in a mirror. He is grumpy and other residents stay away from him. Wonder why he is so grumpy?

He came to my house last week with his social worker

(she was quiet and a bit embarrassed)

and asked how many cats I had and why he had to feed them.

I asked him please not to feed my cats because they are on special diets and that if he did not want cats coming to his window, he might not want to feed them.

(Was that too mean? I did take him to the bank once.)

I love my neighbors. They are the watch dogs of our little dead end street. They send me waves and smiles everyday and remind

always, that life is fragile and you never know when your mind

can deceive you and you are living in an alternate universe.

(By the way I have not fixed my kiln YET but have plans to do it this weekend!)

(I did work in my studio this week though!)